Utopia Recap: [Episode 2]

Posted on Sep 10 2014 - 1:52pm by Alison


Episode 2 proves more dramatic than episode 1 if that was even possible. First let’s talk about how nuts Bella is. The woman is as cookoo as a mental patient in an insane asylum. She hates Josh, she loves Josh who knows how she feels about Josh. I guess it depends on which personality shows up when Josh comes around. Chicken tractors? What is that anyways? I always thought chickens were good for 2 things: eggs and dinner. I really wouldn’t be surprised if Bella killed the chickens by interrupting their routines by harnessing them.  Oh and having conversations and errrr…pep talks with herself. That’s because everyone figured out she’s a fruit loop and distanced themselves from her. 


Now this “Utopia State of Freedom.” Red and Dave proved more insane as they became the Utopian Odd Couple. It started over food. Yes, everyone was starving at that point because it had been quite a number of days since they all had a good meal. Dave, however has the prison it’s all about me mentality. If it doesn’t benefit him, he’s not doing it. As for Red, he flapped his gums a lot about all his skills, but still fails to prove he has them beyond complaining and destroying things that don’t actually belong to him. Oh the irony of him saying he hates lazy people. I love how they show Dave talking about the daughter he doesn’t know with the sob story music in the background. Great job with that. Getting back to the food issue, the group decides to finally order groceries and they order a lot of healthy food, but all Dave wants is top ramen. Dave is happy with commissary food. They actually got mad because Radishes were ordered.  Red poses his hilarious dilemma “How does a guy with no teeth eat radishes?” So, they break into the safe to get “their share” of the money to order what they want. Problem solved right? Did anyone else notice they ordered meat before they even had a refrigerator to store it in? So, to sum up the Independent State of Utopia- a couple of 5 year olds throwing fits when they don’t get the food they want.  Let’s just say the edit was not even half of their tantrum. Dave and Red prove great drama, but they fail to see the concept of “sharing.” What exactly is an aboriginal? Dave says he’s aboriginal and indigenous to the land. Who brought a dictionary into Utopia? Between Dave wanting commissary food and the backward hillbilly’s one liners that aren’t supposed to be funny, these 2 are a hot mess of drama. Their pitch to the others into joining them was “join us and eat what you want.” It was quite funny knowing everyone, but a select few were actually taking the food, but no one actually wanted to join them. 


Does anyone really know what the fight between Rob and Red was about? It was just 2 hot heads not being able to logically discuss the issue. Red calling Rob “little short man” was hilarious. Red isn’t very tall himself. After about 5 minutes both made up and hugged it out and all’s well that ends well. Honestly, Rob is a hot mess along with Red and Dave. 

We have our very first Utopian love connection. Bri and Chris. Chris tells Bri this is the longest he’s gone without doing the horizontal mambo, so he starts looking for places for them to break that dry spell, apparently he doesn’t want the camera’s watching, but there are few and far between places there are no cameras. Where does he find it? Where the cows take a crap. He even notices Bri steps in it on their way to do the deed. I did enjoy Aaron’s commentary about their relationship as she sucked lemon off his neck, chest and crotch. If these two keep going they will contribute a Utopian made baby. She’s thirsty and he’s horny, so they make a great couple. 

Well, the drama stopped long enough for a few of the pioneers to write a song about Tacos. They must’ve been really hungry because there are a lot of topics you can write songs about…Love, hate, family, life, but Tacos? That’s a new one and somehow I doubt it will make it to top 40 radio. 

 The ladies wandering around semi-nude is the cherry on top of this train wreck of a show with so much drama you keep watching not knowing what will happen next. It’s my newest guilty pleasure! All these people are balls to the wall crazy, was Fox’s casting call pitch “only lunatics audition?” I don’t know about any of you, but I can’t wait until Friday’s episode when 2 new pioneers join Utopia, Dave goes nuts again, and did I see a baptism? 


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About the Author

Alison is a 32 year old native of The Bay Area, California. She loves reality shows. Guess you can say she's sort of an addict, the crazier, the better! She's sarcastic, snarky, brutally honest (tell it like it is kinda girl), but she does have a soft side as well. Check Alison out on Twitter and Youtube