LeAnn & Eddie Recap: Hawaii Five Ohhhh [Episode 8]

On the season finale of “LeAnn and Eddie,” we join the intrepid couple on their Hawaiian vacay. A little dose of paradise is just what the doctor (or VH1 producers) ordered to offset all the stress of the harrowing, work-filled lives they lead.  Just to spice things up a bit, they decide to invite both sets of parents (including LeAnn’s beloved stepdad).

What better way to travel than by helicopter? Sure beats economy plus! Breathtaking scenery of turquoise waters and lush cliff sides serve as the backdrop for the start of this final installment of the season. The episode kicks off as Eddie, LeAnn and the ‘rents touch down in the tropics. In her interview, LeAnn admits to having doubts about including the folks in the fantasy island excursion. Hmm…sounds like a harbinger of drama on the horizon.

Eddie seems happy to be vacationing with ohana and he good-naturedly complains about his dad taking pictures of literally everything – even the parking lot! In his defense, it is a really pretty parking lot!

As everyone files into the resort, there is brief discussion about who should get the ocean view rooms. Duh! The parents should, they’re not going to be around forever! In her TH, LeAnn comes across as an entitled little brat -“Eddie and I are used to getting what we want on vacation, but I guess this is going to be a growth experience.” Wow, the road to enlightenment is paved with luxury vacations! She and Eddie resign themselves to their fate: a room with a view…of the parking lot. They also have two small beds, and Eddie seems to look forward to sleeping solo. LeAnn manages to convince him to cuddle up with her. Then they return to kvetching about the view or lack thereof. Poor things!

As the family relaxes on the beach, Eddie seems content to take it easy. His dad has other plans and starts rapid firing ideas for potential sporty activities, from paddle boarding to scuba diving.

Things get awkward when LeAnn’s mom starts boasting about her clean living, “I’ve never drank, I’ve never smoked, I’ve never ran around on my  husbands.” LeAnn is mortified but tries to laugh it off with a quick quip, “Well, I’ve got you beat on that one.” Her mom replies, “Yeah, you did!” Aw, motherly love.

Bright and early the following morning, the clan hits the beach for paddle boarding. Eddie and LeAnn whine about the lack of relaxation on this trip – this might be due to the fact that they have so little activity during their normal “workdays.” The family sits down to lunch and as soon as Eddie excuses himself to go to the bathroom (a plot device that was employed last week when LeAnn left the table to use the bathroom…I see a pattern!) and out of the blue LeAnn begins to complain about her nausea, late period and aching breasts. Is it just me or is that slightly inappropriate in front of the father-in-law and stepdad? Her mom seems genuinely excited about the prospect of having multiple grand babies. When Eddie returns to his conveniently timed bathroom break, the topic is changed to the prospect of swimming with sharks. Interesting metaphor for procreating! Swimming with the sharks! No…they literally want to take a dip with Jaws.

The shark excursion is a bloodbath and everyone is torn limb from limb and churned into so much chum. JK! The scene is a bit anticlimactic as the sharks dutifully stay on their side of the cage. LeAnn gets seasick and attributes it to her still unconfirmed “condition.”

After the break, the spritely elders finally grant the youngish couple some alone time, so they head out for a horseback ride through pristine Oahu rainforest. Suddenly, a paparazzi pops up from under a pineapple plant to snap vacation shots of them. As they stroll under a banyan tree, LeAnn breaks the news to Eddie about being “late.” The look on his face betrays just a hint of panic but he catches himself in time to assure her that he is ready. Those dimples serve him well! LeAnn should be filled with joy, but she just cannot resist another Brandi bash. She worries about how “she” (whose name dare not be spoken) will react to her and Eddie’s spawn.

Shopping for a pregnancy test turns into a family excursion as the baby boomers pick one up for LeAnn. Later that evening, over a luau themed dinner, they admit to their preemptory purchase and LeAnn promises she  will “pee on stick” in the morning. Also, LeAnn tells a cute little anecdote about her mother’s nipple getting bitten by a horse. Don’t ask!

Yum yum! At the breakfast table, LeAnn walks up holding a wineglass full of urine. As if that weren’t gross enough, the pungent parcel is passed around and sniffed by a few of the family members. When the pregnancy test comes back negative, LeAnn is crestfallen while Eddie doesn’t seem so devastated. Is he just stoic or…? Still, in his final interview, he assures the audience that when the test comes back positive some day, he will be happy.