It’s no secret that reality shows are carefully constructed story lines rife with manipulative editing (which in most cases casts a bad light on the “stars”). This pleasantly mild iteration of the genre is instead crafted to crush controversy, and up the likeability factor for the titular couple. It oozes contrived cuteness – from the plotlines to the whimsical soundtrack that accompanies each adorably quirky scene. This week’s episode takes the staging to a whole new level – with a little thing called “Operation Dildo Bag.”
The opening scene kicks off with LeAnn brainstorming over decor with her interior designer, Jonathan. Eddie enters the set, ahem, I mean living room, and LeAnn asks for his opinion about the current table to couch configuration. He says he likes things the way they are, which prompts LeAnn to decide to do the opposite of his suggestion. Eddie shrugs, smirks and rolls his eyes as if to say, Women, “you can’t live with ‘em, you can’t drown ‘em in the infinity pool,” (cue laugh track).
Next, Eddie and LeAnn are cruising on the freeway, when Eddie claims to spot the paparazzi in the rearview mirror. We just have to take his word for it, since we never see the phantom Prius the paps are supposedly driving. Eddie flips them off out the window then calls LeAnne out on not valuing his opinions. To prove that that isn’t the case, LeAnn gives him the opportunity to decorate the Malibu Beach House media room. He accepts the assignment but makes her promise not to dole out any unsolicited advice.
At their destination, Eddie, LeAnne and purse designer, Katrina, dive into the details of a clear tote bag they have been working on. The benefit of a clear bag? Swifter security clearance at the airport and football games (schlepp your six pack, etc.). Katrina explains the complicated concept; “That’s the whole thing, you can SEE THROUGH it.” Ohhhh, that’s how this brilliant piece of technology works!
“How did you meet Katrina, again?” LeAnne wonders aloud? Eddie responds that she just happens to have been the planner for his and Brandi’s wedding. Okay, so we only make it five minutes into this episode before the real “elephant in the room” makes her appearance. Does Brandi get royalties?
Next, we see LeAnn and her bejeweled headress-wearing friend Liz, relaxing poolside. They discuss LeAnne’s see-through handbag line over nibbles of sushi (or something else that requires chopsticks – the plates look suspiciously empty). Liz admits that she is a bag whore, and just a big ‘ole whore in general. Giggles! To prove her point, Liz suggests that LeAnne use the paparazzi to promote her purse line by toting handcuffs, dildoes and other scandalous sundries in her bag of tricks.
After the break, Eddie, LeAnn and Jonathan go shopping at a home decor store. True to form, LeAnn can’t help but chime in with a few suggestions, but mildly vengeful Eddie vetoes her at every turn. Slightly exasperated, LeAnn gives up, she has to meet Liz for lunch anyways.
“That’s right, time for Operation Dildo Bag,” Eddie quips.
Somewhere on Sunset, LeAnn and Liz are seated at an outdoor table, see-through handbag front and center. Tequila, vibrator, pregnancy test and handcuffs are artfully arranged within the haute couture plastic purse – sounds like a fun weekend to me! Mother nature must be in on the joke, since right on cue, she calls. LeAnn gets up to go to the bathroom just in time for a couple of judgmental looking Stepford wives to stop by the table, chat with Liz and scornfully eye the grab bag full of goodies. When LeAnn gets back to the table, Liz fills her in on the “chance encounter” with the soccer mom coven, including queen bee, Stephanie. In the TH, LeAnn worries that Stephanie didn’t realize tequila and sex toys were just a publicity stunt, since “the boys” are friends with Stephanie’s kids. Back at the table, paps show up and start snapping. Mission accomplished?
In the Malibu man cave Eddie and Jonathan show LeAnn a tacky elephant sculpture. Never one to miss an opportunity to slam Brandi, Eddie jokes that, “Besides my kids, it’s the only good thing that came out of my first marriage” He then breaks the news that Stephanie cancelled a play date with one of Eddie’s sons. LeAnn is terrified that the bag of iniquity is to blame.
Meanwhile, Eddie and Terrell are up to more shenanigans – making the media room look as hideous as possible, citing Feng Shue among their inspirations.
LeAnn has bigger fish to fry. She’s off to meet Stephanie to clear the air about “Operation Dildo Bag” aka Dildo Baggins! LeAnn struggles to explain her publicity stunt but it turns out Stephanie cancelled because of morning sickness. Phew!
Crisis averted, LeAnn returns to see the media room. Turns out the hideous decor was a prank. The man cave is now all clean lines and rustic elegance. LeAnn concedes that Eddie does, in fact, have good taste when he has help from a designer.
Preview scenes from next week’s season finale hint at a possible pregnancy. Do y’all think there’s a bun in LeAnn’s oven?