Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: The Dubrows Take Down The Beadors [Season Finale]

It’s the season  finale and you know what that means! Bravo’s producer monkeys plan to keep the editing monkeys busy by forcing people who basically hate each other to have dinner together where all hell breaks loose. Let the bullcrap fly, folks! Speaking of bull, we begin tonight’s ep with Eddie and Tamra cooking dinner as she blames everyone but herself for the fallout in Bali. Heather calls and then supports Tamra’s notion of evil Shannon (who is apparently less evil than evil Lizzie – but just barely). Heather tells her that Shannon told Vicki on the plane to “be strong” and not give in to Tamra. It confirms for both women that Shannon is the reason they didn’t get along for a while – Shannon is the shit stirrer. Vicki should have saved the dumb and dumber titles for these two. Shannon is their problem?

It’s not that Vicki and Tamra were freezing Heather out at the beginning of the season. It wasn’t that Tamra was trashing Heather to Shannon – who had not one nasty word to say. It’s not the stick up the backside comment that Tamra made when everyone was at dinner and Tamara didn’t know Heather was eavesdropping.  Nope, it’s Shannon. Despite the fact that Tamra promised we wouldn’t have to see her face again, she’s planning to attend Vicki’s party. She feels she has to prove everyone wrong. At the same time, Shannon is reporting a change in her marriage. The couple sleeps in the same bed and they are happy together. Shannon, sadly and foolishly, thinks that she is on the road to a future friendship with Heather and that things are looking up for the group. She thinks that everyone will get along, now, and that the dinner will be fun. The Beadors are adorable, and probably shouldn’t be allowed to run free without supervision.  They’re not ready for the likes of Tamra and Heather.

Vicki is getting ready for her party, “Vicki style.” Frenetic movement, yelling at the staff – who are doing an amazing job, general chaos. Who would or could expect any less from her? Everything is Bali themed and beautiful. Vicki says that she’s tempted to tell the caterers “no sharp knives?” She concludes “playfully terrorizing” the planners to get them to hurry up, telling them they have another hour until all of the bitches arrive <– Yup, she said that.

Christian does his real house husband duty of devotion and believes his wife’s version of the Bali blowout story. Since I agree with Lizzie, Christian appears to be a very bright man when he says he gets the impression that Tamra is at the center of a lot of conflict in the group. In a TH, Lizzie talks about the signs of sociopathy she sees in Tamra, noting the lack of remorse and making up lies.  You just know the reunion is going to be explosive.

Terry finds Heather unbelievably beautiful and hot. She jokes that they should turn the car around. I almost wondered who wrote their script until Dr. Dubrow sticks his tongue to his lips… Not a pretty sight. You can’t script that kind of ick. Heather wants to know how Terry plans to handle David. I’m trying to figure out why it’s taken Terry three months to become disgusted by David’s comments. As the Dubrows work on their plan of attack, the hopeful Beadors are playful as David tries to help get Shannon into her dress, she jokes that her dress is so tight she’ll have to lay down to eat dinner.

Brooks and Vicki talk about Tamra, who told Vicki, the night before, that she gossiped about Brooks to help the ladies understand why he didn’t want to be around them.  Vicki says she told Tamra that it didn’t give her cause to trash him to the other women. Vicki says in a TH that she knows that she should have let Tamra go, years ago, but they have a magnetic force – or that she’s possibly a glutton for punishment. Are we all in for the latter explanation? She chalks it up to being a forgiving person.  I dunno… she sat Brooks next to Tamra for the dinner – is he hoping he gives Tamballs a piece of his mind?

The guests arrive. David apologizes when he sees the Dubrows. The couple twist the stick up the bum they’re both riding – for good measure. They make faces, but don’t really accept the apology. The producers and editors are having a FIELD DAY with the Dubrows!  They show David’s comment  (you know, the one comment that offended him so badly that it took Terry three months to go off the deep end). That terrible, terrible, awful comment was said in front of their children and Terry’s 80 year old mother. WELL… except that David’s “spread your legs and get up on that bull” was immediately followed up by Eddie screaming “Show us how you ride Terry.” That is apparently less offensive in the Dubrow household.  No attack on Eddie.

Danielle and Joe are there. We hear almost nothing from them. Heather thinks Shannon’s sudden friendship is Bali was calculated (vain, much?) since Shannon didn’t like her before. Vicki tries to explain to Heather that Shannon didn’t have a problem with her – she thought Heather didn’t like her. Vicki gets a dig in when she catches Tamra gossiping with Danielle when Tamballs claims, to Vicki, she’s afraid of her. Vicki walks by telling her to, basically, stop being silly, and be happy she was invited. They sit down to dinner. Tamra walks off when Brooks gets up and tries to make amends with him.  She does remind him she and Vicki never fought until he came along.  Tactful. The dinner overall seems to be going well until Tamra wants Lizzie to admit what she said about her husband. Vicki is horrified that Tamara would try to ruin her party. She wants Tamra to quit starting crap. Just as the Lizzie–Tamra fight dies down, Terry starts slamming David for his weak, 3 months late  apology. Heather brings up the “yelling at me” accusation. Terry calls David, drunk, stupid, or both and calls him a penis. Heather calls Shannon “pugilistic” and Terry insults David more.

Terry says that being in construction makes David think he can say whatever he wants to women. Christian then reminds Terry that he was in construction as well. Terry says it’s great to be in construction and then continues to berate David. Vicki notes that the uptight condescending Dubrows have learned nothing from the earlier discussions, when Heather in particular, was told how she attacks others and tries to belittle them. When David jokes that he’ll have to go home and look up the insults they hurled at him, Heather says she’ll buy him a thesaurus… I think it’s was Tamra’s cue to reconsider her alliances. While Heather is condescending, Tamra is in a TH saying she’s going to try to make her amends for her betrayal of Shannon. THIS after she denied doing anything wrong during the dinner party. I think seeing Heather kick her bitchiness up in high gear reminds Tamra what’s waiting for her when Shannon and Lizzie are fully done with her.

Heather, if you care, says in a TH that she wishes they could all just accept each other’s imperfections. I am done. Is she for real? I hope she’s too busy to come back next season. Her “kumbayba” TH must be a save since Shannon’s comments at the dinner party made Heather’s ratchet rage look worse. Shannon said she left all of that other stuff in Bali and has no need to keep fighting. She is moving forward. At the end, they’re all smiling and laughing as they watch a slideshow from the trip. In the end we find out the Beadors want a simpler life and plan to downsize (hopefully to a home further away from the Dubrows).  Christian and Lizzie are planning to have a baby in the near future. 

We see Ryan making his long overdue (imo) escape from the OC. Brianna and her family are packed and moving. The show ends on a fun note. The women talk about the things they’ve said that were offensive – and I love that Vicki apologizes to the people of Oklahoma for her comments… she just oughta!

Previews of the reunion look explosive.  Whatever you do, don’t miss it. I sure won’t!  

 

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