Game of Crowns Recap: Tight And Right [Episode 7]
This week of “Game of Crowns” opens up with Susanna Pailotta and Lynne Diamante being crowned Mrs. Rhode Island and Mrs. Massachusetts in what appears to be the back end of a closed-down Ponderosa. Lynne admits that she did have to mail in a fee to be crowned and Susanna says that along with the fee, her Facebook was also combed over to check that she wasn’t a psycho. Clearly both managed to sneak by undetected. They’re crowned by the city mayor, Lynne gives a rambling speech, and then both ladies cut their celebratory cake. In a disturbing, fetish-like moment, they feed each other pieces of cake. Gross. I have a feeling not even Cinemax would be interested.
Shelley Carbone arrives at Vanassa Sebastian’s house. Vanassa is trying to lose weight as the Legends of the Crown competition is coming up. It’s being held at her husband’s resort, the Foxwood. She intends on winning. Leha Guilmette comes over too and the three enjoy some organic tea.
Finally, Leha is ready to open up to the other ladies about Lynne’s supposed hiring of a private investigator. Leha also reveals that Lynne wanted to file harassment charges against her and her husband. Vanassa and Shelley are visibly shocked by this information. Directly after this, Vanassa once again confirms that she’s not so good at the whole “showing compassion to others” part as she interrupts Leha so that she can have a parfait. Stay classy, Vanassa. Leha drops another bombshell and tells them she’s filed a restraining order against Lynne. I mean, a little overkill, right?
Cut to the most hilarious scene of the night. I apologize to any Lynne fans out there. I’m not sure those are real. Lynne has received the restraining order and she’s not taking it well. Her husband is taking her blood pressure while she wails, and new BFF Susanna is close at hand. She sobs that she can’t believe someone would try to utterly destroy her reputation. Which is ironic, since that is exactly what she’s done to Leha and her husband. The whole scene is just too much. She goes on to speculate that the restraining order was just so Leha wouldn’t have to ever compete against her again. Susanna, with zero self-awareness, tries to comfort her by saying everyone knows the type of person Lynne is. Um yep, I think that’s the problem.
Shelley, our reigning and sole voice of reason, thinks everything is tad bit overboard. None of it makes sense to her. Glad I’m not the only one. Leha goes on to explain the restraining order while Vanassa tries to compare their situation to a Scorsese movie. Not even close, Vanassa.
Lynne is still crying. She claims that she never told anyone that Leha’s husband was abusive. Did she forget the past few episodes were recorded? Susanna, in full crazy, says that Lynne was the only one defending Leha. What? Where does any of this come from? Both are talking so high that at one point I was afraid my ears had started bleeding.
Leha says that she WILL be at the Legends competition. It’s her right. Vanassa co-signs this opinion, saying she has to be there. Leha wants to, she’s just worried what she’ll have to do if Lynne shows up. Then, taking things in a new direction, Leha asks Shelley if she’ll compete in the competition too. Shelley, however, is a bit apprehensive about entering the competition.
Back to Lynne’s. She has a TEAM of lawyers and litigators working on overturning the restraining order day and night. I wonder if they’re apart of the Lynnentourage too. Susanna, doesn’t feel that Leha was actually behind any of it, but instead puts the blame on Nick, Leha’s husband. Proving everything I’ve said about Susanna, she tries to make Nick into an acronym. Are you ready for it? Here it is: Narcissistic Idiot That Needs To Calm-down. So close, Susanna, so close.
Returning to the world of the sane, Shelley opens up to her mother about the newest competition. Being Mrs. America, she’s really nervous she’s going to lose. Making my heart ache for her, Shelley reveals that her mother pushed her into the Mrs. Connecticut competition after having a miscarriage. Shelley says the pageant healed her. I love this side of the show and these moment are far too rare. Her mother, being adorable, urges her to really think about entering the competition.
A Lori-Ann Marchese scene! I honestly forget about her. She and her husband are doing something in their house. You know what? I don’t care and I’m betting neither do you.
Vanassa and family are heading for her once a year checkup. It’s been nearly three years since she was diagnosed with cancer. Again, another humanizing scene that I fear this show hasn’t been given enough of. Vanassa is nervous. She never knows what to expect and is rightfully concerned. At the end of it all, Vanassa gets a clean bill of a health.
Shelley and Lori-Ann arrive for a photo-shoot. Lori-Ann is going to be on the cover of a fitness magazine. It’s Lori-Ann’s 7th cover in case you were trying to keep count. I have permanent side-eye when this woman is on screen. She’s glad that Shelley is checking out “her world” of fitness. During the photo-shoot, Shelley gets a little confidence boast and decides she’s going to enter the Legends competition.
Vanassa and Leha get some Botox. According to Vanassa, the Botox is going to help Leha’s face not look so harsh. What a true friend! She assures Leha they’re getting the best of the best. Leha is starting to take things too far with this Lynne fiasco. She’s talking about hired security and them being on stage, and oh my God, just stop it! Vanassa’s not having that at her husband’s business and demands Lynne just not come.
Susanna and her daughter, Victoria, head to Anthony Palmeri’s store. She tells her daughter the latest drama. Victoria, to me, is too caught up in her mother’s drama. Susanna proves how ignorant she, again, by showing she knows nothing about Native American tribal law and Federal Law. She keeps insisting that Vanassa could make up anything she wants to at Foxwood, and because it’s sovereign land, she would get arrested. No, no, and um, no.
While they shop for dresses, Susanna gets a message from Lynne telling her about the security. Susanna has had it! It’s just not classy and apparently she is. She is Mrs. Rhode Island after all. Being her charming self, she states with her childish grin that she could give a few people a reason to get a restraining order.
In the last scene of the night, Lynne’s husband is, yet again, taking her blood pressure. This whole ordeal has aggravated a pre-existing heart condition or so she claims. Her health is at risk! So don’t do the pageant? Nope, not Lynne, she isn’t going to back-down!
Ugh, these ladies were turned up this week and just too much. Let me know what you thought! Until next time!
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