It’s surprising that it has taken us eight episodes to finally see a show entitled Silicone Valley. The predictably named season finale of Botched is named in honor of Monique Allen, an uber voluptuous transgender diva. Born male, she always felt different despite her stint as an altar boy. At 18 years old, she broke the news of her desire for gender reassignment surgery to her parents – they were no more surprised than we the viewers were after 18 seconds of watching this episode.
As a freshly minted femme fatale, Monique started hitting the clubs after her Department of Corrections office job. In the course of her nocturnal adventures, she developed a cult following and met a producer who helped her record the colorful club hits, “38FFF,” “The People’s Tranny” and “Punch My Kitty.” A precocious patient, she had her first face lift at the tender age of 29 and has gone under the knife at least 200 times since. Her motto is “Go big or go home!”
Surprisingly, her only regret is the silicone she had injected in hips, butt, and breasts. Ten years after receiving the shots, the silicone has begun to leak and migrate throughout her body. She also has “pixie ears,” a condition caused by a tightly stretched facelift.
“The first thing that walked into the exam room was Monique’s breasts, then she followed shortly after,” Dr. Dubrow says by way of introduction.
During her consultation, Monique reveals that she has undergone eight breast surgeries and 45 reconstructive surgeries attempting to remove the free-floating silicone. She admits that she had it injected in Tijuana under dubious circumstances and the doctors are aghast – free-flowing silicone is extremely dangerous. It can lead to life-threatening infections, cause loss of limbs, and may even be fatal. Monique’s most worried about the pixie ears but the doctors see her as a walking time bomb.
Despite all of her issues, Monique’s main concerns are those ears which are “practically at her jawline,” and her stomach, which is disfigured from the injections and “aggressive” lipo.
The next patient is 28-year-old Kelly. As a child, she endured multiple surgeries in attempts to repair her cleft palate. She had such a severe underbite that surgeons had to break her jaw, reset it and then wire her mouth shut. The liquid painkiller she was prescribed caused her to vomit – very unpleasant when one’s mouth is wired shut! At 19, she had rhinoplasty to try to make her nose more symmetrical but that just made matters worse. Fillers in her lips only served to make her smile droopy.
Kelly was so self-conscious that when she and her husband married they just went to the courthouse; she didn’t want too many pictures of her on what should have been her “big day.” She habitually crops herself out of most family photos – a ritual that makes her sad.
During her consultation, Dr. Nassif warns her that while they won’t be able to make her nose perfect, they can definitely improve it and correct her deviated septum. During the exam, they discover that her septum is curved into both airways. Dr. Nassif wants to rebuild her nose with skin and cartilage taken from her ear – and possibly even a bit of her ribs.
On a scenic rooftop, Monique struts her stuff as she fills her mimosa-sipping entourage in on her pre-surgical consultation. She announces that she is having her “pixie ears” repaired and her tummy tucked. She will soon be able to fit into some of her old costumes – wow, I can only imagine! Her bosom buddies are concerned that she is yet again submitting to surgery, but she reassures them that everything will be fine since she is “invincible.”
Monique heads in for her surgery, and as Dr. Dubrow scrubs up, he is nervous about running into free-floating silicone during her tummy tuck – potentially inciting an inflammatory reaction. Although he finds silicone everywhere, he successfully removes excess skin and stitches her up. Next, Dr. Nassif creates new earlobes for her – eliminating the “pixie ears” effect.
The Bag Lady
The next patient is 27 year old Myesha, who traveled to Tijuana and paid $150 for under-eye injections of an unknown filler. It was supposed to plump up the bags under her eyes, but it only made them worse. Her eyes were swollen, dark, and pummeled. In her own words, “I went to Mexico to get nip, tucked and instead I got nip, f**ked!” The doctors decide to take her case, and plan to cut incisions in her lower eyelid and pull the bags up. Myesha heads to LA Models for an interview. The agent asks her to come back after her corrective surgery – sans bags.
Kelly heads in for her surgery, anxious husband Leonard at her side. In the operating room, Dr. Nassif and Dr. Dubrow open Kelly’s nasal passage, and reconstruct the tip of her nose. They also inject fat into her lips. Dr. Nassif is pleased with his work and is certain that she will love her new nose.
Monique arrives for her four-day check-in and they remove her bandages to check her progress. Dr. Nassif is pleasantly surprised by how quickly she is healing, great waist contours and not even a single bruise on her face! Monique is grateful and dubs the docs, the “Kings of Corrective Surgery.”
On the day of her surgery, Myesha is so excited, she literally sashays into the operating room. As Dr. Nassif and Dr. Dubrow make the first incision, they are shocked by the immense size of the fat pads under her eyes. Nonetheless, they are able to remove some of it and reposition the remaining tissue. The outlook is rosy.
Myesha is hot to trot and eager to show off her baggage-free visage to friends. She bursts into a bordello-themed nightclub, greeting the assembled guests by exclaiming “boom!”
As they hug and congratulate her, she is ecstatic to show her flawless face to the world. Instead of schlepping her bags under her eyes, next she can pack them for the catwalks of Paris and Milan.
When we rejoin Kelly, she is excited to reveal her new nose and lips at her wedding vow renewal ceremony. She is thrilled to walk down the aisle for the first time – all eyes on her – and can’t wait to share pictures of her second wedding day. Since the surgery Kelly feels a lot more confident and we see her pose for several lovely wedding portraits with her husband and son.
Monique is getting groomed, primped and preened for her law enforcement themed music video shoot, earnest to show off her properly positioned ears and taut tummy. She is ready to start “busting a move.” She steps out on set and her friends are enthusiastic about her results. We are treated to scenes of the making of her video for her club classic, “38FFF.” Shirtless men, scantily clad as cops boogie around Monique’s hyperbolic curves. With her new look, she should probably consider an audition for a telenovela.