On this week’s episode of “CELEBrations,” Slomique informs David that this week’s last-minute party is with Jenni JWoww Farley. David says he’s never heard of her, but after a montage of Jersey Shore photos, he remembers that they are obnoxious and had a hit show. You can see David make a mental note. Jenni is throwing a surprise party for her fiancé, Roger, in three days. After David and Monte slam their super-tans and steroids, they hop onto airplane for NYC, abandoning the unpacking at the new house.
Once in NY, as David makes empty promises to Joey about spending time together, as a family, Slomique calls and says Jwoww and her people are “demanding” to see David right now. Jwoww and her friend Dionne are waiting for David in his boring, brown paint, office. Dionne asks for alcohol. Jenni doesn’t. (Jenni is obviously pregnant, but never addresses it – at all.) Roger is turning 39 and Jenni wants to throw a surprise party. The story is that David is throwing a sweet-16 party for a girl who has requested a cast member from the Jersey Shore.
These are Jenni’s requests for Roger’s party: Invite a sister that Roger hasn’t spoken to in two years. Nothing can go wrong with that one. Invite a UFC fighter, get a motorcycle for Roger, have edible sushi on naked people, aerial silk acrobats, elephants carrying strippers, animal balloons blown up by a toothless woman, and drag queens with baloney on their parts. (Helpful hint: Mayonnaise will help it stick.) The biggest disagreement is location of the venue. Jenni wants New Jersey. David wants New York. Really, he just doesn’t want to go to Jersey.
After the break, the staged phone call from Jenni interrupts Montre and David walking around NY in the rain. Jenni wants to bring her personal fashion designer into the mix and wants David to come shop in NJ. After a roundabout discussion on who’s picking out the dress she’ll wear, Jenni or David, Jenni agrees to come to NY, with the caveat the party will be held in NJ. David says no. Jenni says yes.
Cat the gypsy-lady with a beehive is the special designer of Jenni’s and she has brought dresses that are way too old for JWoww (or Jenni for that matter). Jenni tries on in a lacey, fluff of a maternity dress that looks like something Tinkerbelle would wear in her big scene. She announces this is her final choice, and she’s not trying on the others, so there. David wonders why they bothered with all this just to try on one dress. (So are we, David.)
At the motorcycle store, Jenni gives David a pink, blinged-out tee shirt that says David Loves Jersey. By their own admission, these two know nothing about motorcycles, but are there to pick out one for Roger. Jenni tells David how Roger had to sell his bike after Hurricane Sandy. And how Roger never asks for anything and is very supportive. Jenni finds the bike she wants in the shop, and wouldn’t you know it, someone has already put a deposit on it. Darn it! I hate it when that happens. When you show up at a pre-established place with a film crew and they don’t have what you came in for.
It’s the day of the party and David is on his way to NJ (shocker). The event is being held at Hemingway’s in Seaside Heights. This makes perfect sense as I’m sure Roger and his friends are all verse in the literature of Ernest Hemingway. “The Sun Also Rises…After You Pass Out” is probably their fav.
Slomique is trying to organize the party-goers inside. Jenni and Roger are on the way. If Roger knows what’s going on, he isn’t letting on. It takes several seconds for him to put two and two together. Roger’s sister is announced and Roger seems happy. The UFC fighter, Chris Weidman, is announced and Roger is ecstatic. He can’t stop hugging the guy. Sorry, sis. There are no strippers on elephants and I am very disappointed. A little later on, Jenni brings out another surprise. Oh, what could it be? It’s ex-porn star Jenna Jameson—psych! (Roger actually wished for this.) It’s the motorcycle.
David declares the evening a success and pledges to come back to New Jersey…if he has another reality gig and is getting paid, that is.