Last night’s episode of “LeAnn & Eddie” starts off with a visit to a meat market (no, not some trendy LA nightclub where singles sweat it out – an actual butcher) where LeAnn and Eddie are stocking up on ribs and steaks for their barbecue. They’re expecting 25 guests, but LeAnn seems determined to snap up the store’s entire stock of meat. Eddie laments that he has married an “unstoppable spending machine.” After much back and forth, they settle for six racks of ribs and several steaks. Beef, it’s what’s for dinner!
Back at home, LeAnn mentions that she has spoken with her publicist, Kira, who has warned her to keep a low profile and avoid getting into Twitter wars. Eddie comments that LeAnn doesn’t start virtual feuds, she just reacts to stupidity. Could this be a nod to the invisible third person/villain in every scene, the notorious Brandi?
In an educational moment, LeAnn teaches Eddie the definition of the text shortcut “BTW,” and its current derivative, “BT-dub.” At least that’s what all the cool kids, including his assistant Terrell, say.
After digesting the word of the day, Eddie learns that he must wear a swimsuit for his upcoming photo shoot for Men’s Fitness. He feigns a state of panic! It’s not like he already has personal training sessions everyday or anything… He’s going to kick it up a notch: two workouts a day and a starvation diet.
Eddie asks about a picture LeAnn tweeted. Oh, the innocent one of me making pancakes (in a bra, thong and tiny retro apron – who does that?), as she innocently flutters her lashes. She’s positively aghast as Eddie points out that her thong and much of her bare derrière is showing in her impromptu pancake pinup. How was she to know there was a mirror right behind her? Does she expect us to buy this? We all have access to selfie photo technology. We all know that it’s ridiculously obvious she knew exactly what she was putting out there for the world to see – and methinks it wasn’t pancakes.
I’m beginning to suspect that these two engineered this entire “reality” show to lead up to this moment – baring their gluten free, sculpted-into-submission buns and abs.
At the barbecue, Eddie tries to talk LeAnn’s mom Belinda into a chicken fight in the pool but she’d rather not ruin her carefully coiffed hairdo by getting it wet.
It’s time for a heart to heart and Belinda twangs, “What’s this I hear about you tweeting your butt on the Twitter?” Mama Belinda disapproves.
Eddie tries to smooth things over by telling his mama-in-law that his wife has been blessed with good butt genes. Belinda laughs and turns around to show her booty off. Guess butt exhibitionism runs in the family (the primate family!).
Eddie’s trainer MJ, never one to miss a good meal, is stuffing his face with ribs and parmesan. As Eddie picks at a salad, his mom, Hortensia, tempts him with his favorite: rhubarb pie. Even Eddie’s assistant, Terrell is flaunting possibly stolen baked goods in front of him.
Next, we join LeAnn as she is choosing costumes for an upcoming performance. Her stylist suggests some sexy options, but she claims she wants dress more conservatively. After helping her try on a few ensembles, the stylist asks about the now infamous butt tweet. LeAnn is (pretends to be) appalled. “People shouldn’t just talk about my ass, I do have boobs!” she jokes.
Eddie is at the gym with his trainer, MJ, preparing for the photo shoot. His assistant Terrell is also there but seems utterly uninterested in working out, BT-dub.
Long-suffering publicist Kira calls LeAnn and breaks the news that she’s trending on Twitter: #RimesWithBooty. She instructs her to google “LeAnn Rimes butt pic.” LeAnn is glad that at least her affair isn’t one of the first results on the search engine. LeAnn whines that she knows she hasn’t earned much sympathy from the public and doesn’t know how she keeps screwing herself over and over again.
Eddie asks how things are going with “BootyGate.” In the interview, LeAnn claims that her biggest concern is that her two wonderful stepkids might be able to google the scandal. When she complains to Eddie, he responds that he’s there booty’s biggest fan and gives her a comforting hug.
After the break we see Eddie getting a spray tan including some ab definition. Next, LeAnn heads to see Kira and asks how serious the butt-related PR fiasco is. Kira assures her it’s not “sex tape bad.” LeAnn reminds us that she’s only done one negative thing (the affair) and everything since then has been perceived as negative. Kira’s damage control advice is to wait for someone else to “screw up worse,” but LeAnn doesn’t want to sit on her hands and wait.
It’s “game time” and Eddie is at his photo shoot. He tells Terrell that when it’s done they are headed to In-N-Out for a double double.
Eddie is astounded when he finds out he won’t be slipping into skimpy bathing suits after all – instead he is donning a classic, tailored suit and shirt. He’s relieved yet annoyed with Terrell who misinformed him about the wardrobe. As Eddie models the high end menswear, he orders Terrell to get him burgers, donuts and a milkshake. To cap off the shoot, chisel-faced Eddie jumps into the pool, pinstripes and all.
Back at home, Eddie says he’s fat and happy as he polishes off a bowl something yummy. LeAnn describes Kira’s PR strategy options: take legal action (against whom? LeAnn?), let the scandal die down, or distract from it. How? LeAnn asks Eddie how much he loves her. He agrees to whatever she has in mind as long as it doesn’t involve dieting. He wonders what he has gotten himself into.
LeAnn lifts Eddie’s shirt and snaps a pic of his butt. She wants to him to bare his bare butt, but he demurs and only lets her photograph half (a crescent moon). Despite all that modesty, operation #ButtTweetDistraction has been a success! Eddie’s ass has been retweeted many times. LeAnn chuckles that she’s glad her man has her back..side.
After all that hard work, the couple is relaxing in bed as Eddie eats pie. He tells her he loves her and now is craving a different kind of pie…