We return to the “Real Housewives of New York” reunion with a focus on the strangest part of this series – #TeamSonja’s “permaterns” (college students receiving course credit to help Sonja). She tells us that some of them are fashion interns, some are learning about merchandising etc. They’re not paid but Ramona remarks they’re well fed. According to Sonja, it takes a while to learn how to handle her scheduling – which is a nightmare. Tyler is on set for the reunion. Pickles is in Europe for vacation. I’m guessing there is a university president worried about having the home institution named on the show. You should be afraid, friend. Very afraid.
Aviva is asked if she has nannies. She answers that she has one. Heather claims Aviva has more than one, that she has a staff. Is this really an issue? Aviva responds that she hired an additional nanny when everyone was together to help with the additional children. LuAnn snarks that one nanny who cares for four children must be pretty remarkable. Aviva says that she is a miracle worker. Five minutes of my life were just wasted on nanny-gate. I’m billing Bravo for my time. Do what feels right for you. Someone needs to help Heather check her hard-on for Aviva.
Book-gate comes up. You’re a bad man, sometimes, Andy Cohen! Carole is shown, in flashbacks, remarking that Aviva is delusional, post-book deal, to think that she is now a writer. The comments come after Aviva asks for Carole’s help. Carole seems to remember being pleasant and supportive, and being happy for Aviva. It’s just too bad for her that Bravo keeps the film footage. In a flashback we see Carole asking Aviva if she has a ghostwriter. Aviva asks Carole about having a ghostwriter, in return. To think, something that seemed so innocent became the source of B.S. conflict all season long! The sparks fly. The moment that was most poignant, in my book, was Carole’s description of Aviva’s desire to become a writer as “typical rich girl behavior.” I think Carole viewed herself as the “real writer” in the group. She is, so having Aviva land a book contract and muscle in on her territory might have been a bit much for her. I can see why it annoys her, but so many HWs have written books she may as well have sucked it up and dealt with it.
Aviva feels that Carole has protested so many times about the ghostwriter comment that she began to wonder if there was truth to it. Andy gets in on the action and tells Aviva that Carole is defensive because she was being slandered and that her livelihood could have been hurt by the speculation. Wouldn’t that have been all the more reason for Carole to shut the hell up about it instead of raising the issue EVERY WEEK? Aviva claims a ghostwriter is common and repeats the unsubstantiated rumor that Truman Capote ghosted part of “To Kill a Mockingbird.” D’oh. Why, Aviva… why? Earlier Ramona was told, by Carole, to stay out of the conversation when she made a comment that seemed to defend Aviva as the sole author of her book. Her comments are accepted when she tells Aviva that she shouldn’t repeat negative things she hears Where is Heather ‘HOLLA’ Thomson to tell Ramona that her comments were just a set up to protect herself from getting hit with Mario rumors, later? Aviva states “if you don’t want to have someone ask you if you have had a boob job, don’t ask them if they have had a boob job.” Heather and Carole act confused.
Andy claims that he’s trying to get to a resolution and tells Carole that Aviva feels that Carole kept dragging things on. He may as well have thrown them boxing gloves along with the comment. Crosstalk, recriminations. Carole talks about the “weird” situation which prompts Aviva to repeat the word “WEIRD.” She goes on to say that Carole might as well have used the words “poopy head” and says “Use your vocabulary, writer girl” – annoying Carole and Heather even more. Aviva tells Carole that no one gives a sh—who wrote her book and if her book isn’t selling, don’t blame her. She hurls a couple of other snappy comebacks at Carole. Something tells me that Aviva would have been a shark in the courtroom. She played ‘em like she made ‘em. Carole and Heather have known better than the take the bait. Carole has a career she’s been proud of, so what’s the point of letting it be defined by the RHONY?
Andy turns his attention to some of the “wildest” moments of the season. We’re back in the Berkshires, Saratoga, and Montana – I can’t believe how excited I was about the season before all of that happened. I give Ramona credit for laughing when she hears how bitchy the other HWs thought she was in the Berkshires. Heather and Ramona go back and forth about her house and land there. It turns out that the house was the pool house. Heather and Jonathan built the pool house first to learn about architecture and planned to build the main house later. We now understand why Ramona was asking what that structure was when they arrived. Every comment after that was inappropriate, in my opinion. Ramona stands by her comment that New Yorkers and most others prefer to live in the Hamptons, not the Berkshires. She “proves” her point by noting that Andy, LuAnn, and almost everyone else they know has a weekend home there.
Andy snarks at Sonja’s day of bad luck at Saratoga about the fact that she was as drunk as he’s ever seen her. Sonja remembers not leaving the table…oy. Comments about Montana and Carole’s outdoor skills come up. Andy wants to know how she keeps her girlish figure if she doesn’t eat. Repelling and Kristen’s terror comes up (honest to goodness, didn’t we cover Montana last week????). Even the reunion is repetitive and boring.
LuAnn talks about everyone sending out tweets and congratulations on her clothing line, but Sonja. Sonja says that the homeless girl in Ireland who blogs for her was waiting on information before she could post anything but she never heard from Lu. The women of the petty couch begin laughing –and are immediately admonished by Sonja. By “homeless,” Sonja meant that the young woman lost her home to a fire – no laughter. Something tells me that in Sonja’s head, it seemed like an act of charity to allow the mystery homeless girl to become part of “Team Sonja.” Out loud? It sounds awful. The other ladies did text the news when they read Lu’s email to send out texts. Sonja comments that she doesn’t even read her email so she didn’t know. Andy quips that she has a homeless girl in India to read them for her.
Jacques, Josh, Harry, and Mario are on the hot seat as their worst behaviors are displayed – including Harry, Sonja, and LuAnn. Mario’s “the best cheaters get away with it” comments are aired. Andy brings up the cheating rumors. Ramona says they are together, everyone is fine, she loves her daughter and she’s not going forward with the conversation. She is not willing to talk about it. They go back and forth until Ramona asks Andy how his love life is and who is he going to have sex with tonight. Andy ZINGS her and tells her that when he is on a reality show, with the person he’s sleeping with, he’ll tell her. Don’t mess with the Cohen! Now it’s LuAnn’s turn to get in on the act. She reminds Ramona that she had so much to say about her marriage – including accusations that it was an open marriage. Not for nothing, folks, Ramona’s comments were crude and unnecessary, but came post-divorce. She and Mario, at the time of the taping, were still working on their marriage. LuAnn tells Ramona that the allegations about her husband are true and that ignoring them won’t change that. Ramona asks Lu if she was in the room and slaps back with stating that maybe they should talk about how LuAnn likes to f—k all of Sonja’s boyfriends.
Andy tries a different tactic and asks if her friends were supportive during that time and Ramona shuts him down again. She screams for the next package. Kristen jokingly scream-shouts “You need a Xanax,” to Ramona. Andy says that he’s not showing another package, and that he only asked if she was supported by her friends. Andy turns to the others to as, if knowing what Ramona was going through excused any of her behavior this season. Heather emphatically answers NO and is angry about Ramona saying that you wouldn’t notice Jonathan if he walked into a room. Andy says that he’s done with “Stonewall Jackson” – pointing to Ramona and moves on, FINALLY.
A viewer question asks about Kristen’s seemingly unhappy marriage. She says that she and Josh gained new insight watching their relationship on screen (we heard a similar sentiment from Shannon Beador on WWHL, the day before). There is a lot of crosstalk as the women are making their points about marriage and reality shows. Heather comments that they signed up for a reality show, but their husbands did not- seemingly as a defense of some of the most unlikable behavior. Kristen says that Josh felt bad when he saw how he behaved when he screamed at her over his conference calls.
Ramona is supporting Kristen, talking about how real her relationship was on screen. LuAnn and Carole smirk, as if they can’t believe she has the nerve to comment. LuAnn is asked about Jacques, she claims they are friends. They lived together but things ended when it became clear they weren’t moving forward. A viewer teases that LuAnn should now be able to objectively see that Jacques was stealing her hairstyle. Aviva asks about Sonja and Harry, and says that she was rooting for them to work it out. She loves them both and wanted them together. They adults all had meals together with the children, including Sonja’s daughter.
We conclude with a discussion of Carole’s party and what happened that night. The story of the “group” going out is repeated, but Sonja whispers to Ramona that no one else was in the taxi. There seems to be agreement among most of the wives that Harry should have waited for Sonja. Lu tries to drop a bomb on Sonja that Harry still wishes something happened that night because he still calls her. Ramona cuts her to the core and says that Harry still calls everyone (that is a boss “cut a bitch” move. Ramona wanted to make sure LuAnn knew she wasn’t special to a man like Harry). Sonja comments that Harry’s actions are exactly why she’s not with him now.
The final blow comes from LuAnn, who is asked via viewer comment about Ramona’s behavior in past seasons throwing her “happy marriage” in LuAnn’s face. The response? “Karma is a bitch.” Heather and Carole seem to be amused by LuAnn’s response. It doesn’t look as if anyone else is.
Well folks, there is good news and bad news. The good is that this episode is OVER. The bad? Just like the Montana vacation, there will be a week three. Gird your loins until then!