On this episode of “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” We pick up with the dinner party from hell; there is face grabbing and general OC housewife fuckery. Shannon is walking away and ends up on the front balcony with David, Tamra, and Lizzie. She is crying and saying she is tired of people trying to make her out to be someone she’s not. Her anguish is genuine, as is Tamra’s attempt to apologize (#toolittletoolate). She apologizes after Shannon says she’s been screwed over by Heather – which, in my opinion, makes Tamra guilty by association. As this is going on, the Dubrows are on the beach side balcony looking ridiculous, smug and self-satisfied, in my opinion.
Shannon, like most of the audience- I suspect, is tired of being told she yelled at Heather, the Queen of “ContstantlyPissedOffLandia.” Lizzie tells Shannon she did not yell and scream at Heather – that people just make stuff up sometimes, it’s how all people are. Really? As sad as these scenes are, there are three things I like about them. 1 – David’s love and concern for his wife is so genuine and sweet. He just wants to get her coat and take her walking to get her away from the madness. 2 – Shannon is not even acknowledging Tamra’s presence other than to tell her to get off of her (Glad Shannon knew that Tamra called her “crazy” before the reunion was taped. I hope that comes up. I hope Tamra’s follow up on the balcony does, as well, since she tells Shannon that they all support her 100%. Yes, they support Shannon, the “crazy” woman that she and Heather have to “do something about.” Shannon hits Tamra with “Really? REALLY?” before walking off. I think it’s easier to blow smoke up Heather’s vain ass than into Shannon’s sensitive soul. 3 – The dinner party seems to be turning the tide as people are beginning to look at Heather and Tamra differently.
Heather is back to telling others she had to kick a heated Shannon out of her home. Tamra is talking about Shannon as if she if is trying out for “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” minus a script and film crew. Vicki and Lizzie believe that Shannon was within her right to be upset and see her point of view. Vicki pretends she has to “go potty” and runs out to give Shannon a hug – seriously, why is Vicki afraid of Tamra? Can someone help me here? I’m beginning to believe that a real body is buried and Tamra knows where Vicki hid it. Vicki has to lie to Brooks to sneak out to hug Shannon? Vicki had the nerve to have tell Shannon that she has to learn to stand up for herself. Vicki should take half of the gumption she uses to stand up to her children (Briana) over Brooks and do the same for Shannon with Tamra. Terry is stunned when Heather asks if an ambulance should be called. He doesn’t understand why. She and Tamra are trying to convince the others that Shannon is having a psychotic break. I’m thinking Shannon should have a Bitch-Break and get herself away from Tamra and Heather for good.
Lizzie and Christian stand up for Shannon (see that Vicki?) and tell the others that she doesn’t need an ambulance. They go outside to find Shannon. Brooks still thinks Vicki is in the bathroom. Heather is blaming her awful, bullshit, behavior towards Shannon on the falling out that she had with Tamra. It was so hurtful to her that she keeps slapping at Shannon and not Tamra. Got it. Tamra thinks that Shannon has that look in her eyes that she once had when she didn’t see any way out (Shannon can’t see her way out of what you wanker? Out of a dinner party? Out of filming? Out of your life?). These two women are a little too self-important in their own heads, as I see them. Tamra piles on telling Heather how Shannon instigated the conflict between them and how guilty she now feels for the things she said. Someone should strap a bag to Tamra’s mouth to catch the crap as it falls. Christian just renovated the place.
When Vicki returns to the party, she courageously (in a TH) calls B.S. on Heather claiming that Shannon fanned flames. Heather is doing everything she can to clear herself of gossiping about Shannon. She still maintains she did nothing wrong to share the email news of David’s email. Vicki believes that Heather should be outside apologizing but she won’t because she doesn’t know how to apologize. Vicki does tell Heather she still feels her treatment of Shannon was wrong.
Shannon returns to the party as Tamra exclaims, “Oh God.” Shannon politely apologizes to Christian and Lizzie for getting upset (no “yelling and screaming”). The she-wolves exchange glances. Shannon apologizes to all, stating that she’s never gotten upset at a dinner party. Tamra tries to get her to sit down. She, again, politely says no. She and David are going home. I don’t think either Tamra or Heather has enough class to realize they’ve been outclassed by Shannon. Vicki wants to leave. Christian says they’ll have one fireball shot and everyone has to leave. As the toast begins, Heather apologizes IF she did anything to ruin the night. Christian – a man I may now love as much as you can love someone you’ve never met, asks Heather how she managed to make the toast about her. BOOM! Heather’s mouth, along with the mouths of several others in the room, drops. I get a nice warm glow that someone has finally had the courage to say out loud what I’m sure so many of them, minus Tamballs and the other Dubrow, are thinking.
Heather, Tamra, and Ghost Danielle are having dinner, seemingly the next day. Heather and Tamra are defensive. Danielle mocks Shannon. Yeah, this is a trio that will work. Cut your losses Bravo. Tamra claims that she never told Shannon anything (but in a couple of THs “tries to remember” if she did). They gossip about the Beadors’ sleeping arrangement, Shannon’s use of holistic medicine, her drinking straight vodka – mostly shared by “we support you” Tamra Judge.
Vicki and Brooks have lunch. Vicki feels bad for Shannon, but wants to stay on Tamra’s good side (mystifying). They talk about the fact that Tamra is the only friend who doesn’t like Brooks. They talk about possibly moving in. Vicki says she’s not looking for marriage or an engagement, she just wants a partner and that people live together. She worries about how to handle Briana and Ryan. Vicki wants to heal things with her daughter before she moves to Oklahoma. This has #EpicFail written all over it.
At Dr. Moon’s, Shannon is looking for a healthy balance. He tells her she is looking for too much from her life and it causes her stress. She regrets her outburst and says that she’s never going to let anyone get to her again. Lizzie calls her while she’s leaving Dr. Moon, giving her more support. Shannon is happy for the vindication but doesn’t know if she can trust Lizzie since Lizzie has been so heavily on Heather’s side. Lizzie says, in a TH, that she loves Heather but sees Shannon’s side of things. Lizzie also says that she sees Shannon as helpless and in need of a friend she can trust. Her birthday is coming up, so she invites Shannon to her party. Heather is not going to be there so no drama to worry about, says Lizzie.
Tams and Ryan are talking about the custody case. Odd timing: Ryan announces that he’s moving up North (Auburn) to be with a woman he met on instagram. In a TH, Tamra claims they have buggies and carriages in Auburn, no cars. Why move there? His “girlfriend” Sarah has 3 daughters and a job there so she can’t move to the OC. Tamra makes it all about her – that she has nobody. She asks what Ryan is doing. She reminds Ryan he does a lot of things he never thinks through. In a TH, she notes that Ryan is like her, impulsive, and that she still fights it (#losingbattle). She wants him to think things through, especially in light of his hemochromatosis diagnosis. He tells her he doesn’t have a brain problem – you write that joke yourself, folks. Ryan is willing to allow the family to meet her as long as she doesn’t scare his fiancée away. He tells his mother that talking to her gives him anxiety… I know what he means.
Briana and Vicki agree to joint counseling at her house. Vicki calls Briana her best friend. Briana says that they each get too involved in the other’s business. Vicki faults Ryan C. for taking Briana away. Briana says that Vicki tells everyone that she is the “bad guy” for not liking Brooks. She’s tired of being asked to forgive Brooks. They are both told by the therapist that they blame others for their feelings instead of taking responsibility. Briana feels attacked and tells her mother that everything is about how she feels, never about how Briana feels when everything in her life has been about what her mother wants. She is sure her mother will move Brooks into the house when they leave and despite the earlier conversation, Vicki says that won’t happen. Vicki, in a TH, swears that she is going to get her daughter and Brooks together one day… Yikes. Briana may have a point.
Interstitial – Dubrows…bored… done
Sarah /Ryan, Tamra/Eddie, and Sandy/Guy have dinner together. Eddie reminds Tamra everyone will be gone one day and it will be just the two of them. Sandy and Guy arrive, followed by Ryan and Sarah. Tamra is freaked out that Ryan’s new girlfriend looks like her. She owns a gun shop and sells tactical supplies to law enforcement agencies and the military. She even brought a loaded gun into the house. The couples are getting along so far, fascinated by Sarah’s gun. Her daughters 11, 9, and 4 love Ryan.
Tamra feels that the similarities between her and Sarah are striking (strong single women with children, running a business) and that in a weird, “not incestuous way”, she’s being replaced. We find that Sarah’s mother died at 48 of cancer, and that her father died a year ago – due to suicide, depressed over losing her mother. He shot himself. Tamra cries that she’s so young and has lost her parents. Her sympathy wanes, it seems, when she finds out that they’ve set a date to be married and have scouted places. They’re marrying Sept. 6th. She loses her shit when she finds out they have a planner for the wedding. A contract for a location has been signed. I guess someone should call an ambulance for Tamra’s psychotic break!
When they go outside, Eddie tells her she’s a mess… yeah, bruh, YOUR mess, legally. Have fun with that. It ends “well enough” with hugs and promises from Sarah to care for Ryan, Tamra describing him as a “good kid.” Eddie told Tamra it was time to let him grow up. I agree. Best of luck to him and his bride.
See ya’ next week!