Tonight’s episode of the “Real Housewives of Orange County,” opens with Heather and Terry having dinner with Vicki and Brooks. The old me would have fast-forwarded the scenes. The new Vicki-loving me can’t wait. Terry asks about Mexico, and says (on cue, I’d wager) that he’s sure Shannon told them about what happened at their house. See how Heather’s hands stay clean “wink.” The flashback of that night is even less kind as I notice something I didn’t before. Heather appears to be denying even talking about the email. Terry dismisses that night, and seemingly Shannon, by rolling his eyes and saying that night was “kooky.” I see far too much of this guy on this show – and not in what I view as a flattering light. I have no interest in his other show. Vicki doesn’t look impressed with Terry’s facial expressions. When Vicki shares Shannon’s version, she says that she doesn’t believe Shannon is lying – even though Vicki made a point of saying that Shannon told her that Heather had evil in her eyes. Vicki is in full defense mode telling the Dubrows how she loves Shannon and doesn’t like seeing her hurt.
Heather growls her grinchiest growl as her heart grew three sizes too small that day. She reminds Vicki that they have been friends for years and that she didn’t bring it up – as if to blame Vicki for throwing this at her. Vicki, OG style, reminds Heather that Terry brought it up. Vicki tells Heather that she thinks that a person who is hurt and broken should not be kicked out of a house. Heather, again, recalls being yelled at by Shannon at the Beadors’ holiday party. What Heather doesn’t recall –as shown in flashbacks, is going on the attack against Shannon. Vicki is not having it. She knows Shannon didn’t yell. Heather is back to stating that her children were in the other room the night Shannon was “getting out of control.” Vicki doesn’t like that Heather lacks compassion. Heather condescends and comments that she tried to speak in short sentences. Vicki just laughs, as if she realizes that Heather can’t help herself.
The Beadors are getting ready to sit down to dinner. Sophie is taking a trip to Italy with her Latin class and Daddy Beador is a chaperone. Shannon talks about how present David is in the lives of their children, and she loves that. Speaking of families, Lizzie and Christian are at the beach house her parents have owned since the 90’s. Christian is in charge of the renovations. Lizzie wants’ to throw a dinner party there, instead of her home, because the family beach house is bigger. I’ll say five words to you and then you can say the first thing that comes to mind: Tamra. Shannon. Heather. Dinner party. If the first word that came to mind was “disaster” – KUDOS to you! I thought it, you thought it, and surely the producers thought the same, right? More on that, later.
Tamra is being announced by the receptionist at Vicki’s office as “your best friend,” Tamra hears Vicki ask “Which one?” and is not pleased. Luckily, she is easily distracted by Vicki’s new Jimmy Choo strappy sandals – which were just unpacked. To think, they weren’t even shiny objects. I am distracted by these adult women complaining about how time consuming it is to go to the bathroom and that they would rather hold it. I waited for one of them to work her way into a Depends commercial by testifying to how great it is to wear them and not take bathroom breaks. The conversation quickly turns to the conflict between Shannon and Heather. Vicki and Tamra imitate Heather’s finger pointing behavior (a technique Vicki says Heather has perfected). They are sick of the pointing and condescending, even if they like her. Vicki is tired of her treating Shannon the way she does. They discuss Lizzie’s party and both think it will be a “shit show,” given what’s happened.
Lizzie is getting the beach house together and sings her husband’s praises for getting the place together so quickly for the dinner. There is a small staff working on setting up. It’s cozy, it’s cute. Lizzie even makes a point of keeping Shannon and Heather separated on opposite ends of the table. We find out what a shit stirrer Tamra really is. Apparently, according to Shannon, Tamra has told her on numerous occasions that the Dubrows want to take the Beadors down. Shannon wants to know where they are that anyone would want to take someone down. On their ride toward the party, Heather is stating that she’s becoming dinner party phobic because every time they get together, Shannon yells at her.
In case it matters: Danielle is in the background, Heather describes herself as outwardly warm and friendly but not so much on the inside when she sees Shannon, Lizzie has fire dancers on the beach, and in a TH (talking head interview) Tamra says she doesn’t like Brooks, but knowing he’s coming she’ll be friendly for Vicki’s sake. To her credit, she is friendly with him. Shannon pulls Tamra aside to try to get to the heart of what Tamra told her earlier about the takedown conversations – something attributed to Terry. Tamra, who looks panicked (to me) claims she doesn’t remember saying that. Shannon tells her that she’s trying to give her a chance to come clean – to be honest with her, poor naïve Shannon. In a TH Tamra admits that Terry doesn’t like them, but claims that Terry wouldn’t say that. Shannon is annoyed and says that Tamra can’t put things in her head and then treat her like she’s crazy.
Shannon doesn’t want to confront Heather because she has no backup. She lets it go. Tamra continues sipping (wine?) through a straw. They’re called to dinner (which Vicki crudely screams that it’s about time they were being served food). Christian gives a sweet toast, one that is a tad bit long for this crowd – Vicki gives him the zzzzzzzz’s in a TH. The room is dead quiet. Tamra decides to keep things going by asking about “best body parts.” Brooks answers that Vicki’s best part is her brain, the part he fell in love with when they met. Vicki THs “I’m VERY smart.” Tams THs a “bull shit.” When pressed, he says “her vagina.” Lizzie is SHOCKED! SHOCKED! Seriously? Where the hell did she think that conversation was going? Vicki, in a TH, tells us that she’s had C-sections so her vagina is not stretched out by babies, that it’s perfect. Terry says Heather’s face is her best feature. In a snarky TH, Shannon asks if it’s the face he created. OUCH! Way to strap one on, Shannon! The conversation is now flowing. It’s positive – so you know where this is going.
Tamra, in a side conversation with Terry and Heather, brings up the “take down” conversation. Terry starts YELLING at Shannon. David tells Terry it’s not appropriate to talk to his wife like that. David says they could have taken the conversation outside, but that it should not have been raised at the table. For all of the Dubrows talk about class, the Beadors behaved like a civilized couple. When asked where they heard the take down comments, Shannon tells them that Tamra told them more than once. Vicki confirms that Tamra told her the same thing as she refers to Tamra’s convenient amnesia. Shannon tells Terry she asked Tamra again about it, Tamra denied it, it was done, there was no need to yell at her across a table. Lizzie is looking a little pissed off, rightly so. As the fighting goes back and forth, Tamra sits there quietly. Heather claims that Tamra has never lied in three years. Shannon says, in a TH, that she’s known her for three months and she’s lied. Eddie looks like he wants someone to tell him where the exits are. Lizzie is beginning to understand Tamra’s bear-poking role. Heather won’t let it drop and Shannon does the appropriate thing and excuses herself to walk away. Heather calls after her and asks if that is what she should have done when Shannon yelled at her. Tamra calls Heather to go outside with her. Lizzie notices that it’s Tamra’s pattern, to pull one person away, and wants to know what she has to say that can’t be said in front of everyone.
The interstitial is Vicki telling Shannon and David they’re all having more fun at their end of the table and of Vicki being grossed out that Brooks wants to keep kissing while she’s holding a mouth full of food, and others as screaming and crying. She is not alone. It’s not a good look.
Tamra looks Heather right in the eyes, as she did with Shannon, and swears she never said that about Terry. Heather believes her. She says that Shannon is clearly drunk. LOW! BLOW! Brooks thinks that Vicki should out to the balcony. Vicki wants to stand up for Shannon but knows that Tamra will get vicious and drag Brooks into it. Tamra then says that Shannon’s “take down” claims confirm that Shannon is crazy. LOW! BLOW! Tamra is using “we” with Heather when asking how to handle Shannon. David tells Eddie his wife started this mess.
As she returns and hears him, Tamra wants David out on the balcony to talk things out. Shannon goes out. Eddie goes out. Vicki takes a shot and it’s HUGE. She tells Eddie he’s the one who wanted to be a part of Tamra’s life, all of it. He slyly flips her off. Tamra then brings Heather out. Heather AGAIN brings up being yelled at. She tries to explain how she ended up telling a table full of women about that email from David. Shannon feels that Heather just keeps spinning to try to make herself look better but she knows Heather was not at the table trying to stop the talk about the Beadors. Now Shannon IS yelling. The Dubrows claim that Vicki told them that Shannon said that they wouldn’t let her into the house as evidence that things are being miscommunicated. I must have missed that conversation.
Shannon has had it. She’s so upset that this time she’s yelling and walking away. Tamra tries to grab her face to quiet her down. LOW! Shannon leaves, yelling, and Tamra grabs her telling her she wants her to stay. Shannon repeatedly tells Tamra to get away from her – she’s tired of people lying on her. Tamra and Heather pull their biggest bitchface move, yet, asking if Shannon possibly needs an ambulance. LOW! BLOW! BITCHES!
I can’t believe this shit storm continues through to next week. I’ll see you all, then.