This week’s episode of “Real Housewives of Orange County,” starts off with Shannon, who appears to be in pretty rough shape, is at Tamra’s confiding more details of her (then) failing marriage. It’s strange to see these two talking about this when Tamra had already talked about Shannon’s marriage in a prior episode with Heather. We now learn that Shannon has even shared David’s email with Tamra. The look on Tamra’s face doesn’t scream “empathy,” to me. It looks like the face of someone who is 1- feeling vindicated in comparing her failed marriage to Simon with Shannon and David’s marriage and is 2 – feeling smug about not being the only one whose marriage fell apart. Shannon’s story is so much worse than the moments shared onscreen, so far. She states that David’s eyes light up when he looks at the kids and go black when he looks at her – all since the children were born. She says that he lived in the guest room while she dealt with allergy issues which led her to cough uncontrollably. They haven’t lived in the same bedroom in nearly 7 years, not even after moving to the new house – the house in which they currently live.
Shannon feels stupid and that she should know better because she’s a smart person. Tamra puts on her ragged armchair marriage counselor’s cap and tells Shannon she doesn’t sound stupid, but sounds as if she is making excuses for someone she loves. Shannon is the only person I would believe if she said she didn’t watch the show before joining.Why? She’s taking marriage advice from Tamra. Just then a text from David comes in. He is upset learning that Heather was at a restaurant with a table of friends discussing David’s email to Shannon. I’ve always viewed Heather as a cruel pretentious ass with money – which has been mistaken for class. This pretty much solidifies my opinion of her. Tamra swears she never said a word to Heather about an impending divorce. Shannon believes her, sorta.
Vicki is opening mail and unpacking a box which includes some sort of an award (for outstanding achievement in some unnamed category) which surprises Vicki since it just showed up in the mail <insert your own skeptical comment, here>. She goes on about how hard she works – in case you weren’t convinced the other 9 million times she said it before. She talks to people all day. When she comes home she doesn’t want to talk to anyone, she says, but knows she has to talk to those she loves – so she calls Brooks. They both work so hard that sometimes they can only talk on the phone. Brooks works????? Vicki is mixing and drinking a protein drink in a way that is the best “Just say no” ad I’ve ever seen. The couple is planning to go to Puerto Vallarta to get away from the Coto gossip machine. She wants Shannon and David to meet Brooks and get to know him.
Shannon and the girls are cooking. David comes home early to apologize to Shannon. She says in a TH that she is 100% committed to making her marriage work that this is a wake-up call. Moments later she’s talking to the girls about how their daddy is a creature of habit eating the same thing at the same time, every day. David looks uncomfortable and snarks that if dinner was ready when he got home he wouldn’t need to eat chips and salsa – walking away. He takes my hope that they would work things out with him when he goes. I don’t think Shannon can help herself. Snarking at him seems to be ingrained into her character after all this time. Maybe she was trying to be playful, I can’t tell, but given how often he’s been criticized, even in front of their daughters, it just wasn’t a good moment.
Later Shannon is worried about the rumor circulated around Newport Beach about her husband leaving her and she wants to protect her children from false rumors. She talks about her own parents’ divorce and how she doesn’t want her children hurt like that. While the girls are playing “skunk in a barnyard”, Shannon let’s David know she’s going to run an errand.
Heather and Terry are discussing the need for a bigger bed to occasionally let the children in to snuggle and watch movies. Ugh, a discussion about the lunch date with Tamra and making up. Tams and Eddie are now going to take them to dinner. Terry is glad since that’s the Tamra they know and love. Heather starts by saying, “the point is that you have to be my friend…” when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Shannon… OH MY WORD! I’m a daytime soap fan, so I was just waiting for a dramatic music cue to pick up along with “blue steel” stares. Instead, Terry is gracious and makes Shannon a drink. Shannon tells what she has heard about the email and wants to know how the information got out. Shannon has stones, and I love that about her. She has probably wasted her time on Heather – who is never wrong in her own book, it seems. It’s clear, as is openly said, that Shannon knows Heather learned about the email from Tamra.
Heather tells Shannon that she was hoping Shannon popped by to apologize to her about “yelling” at her at the party. She’s deflecting and bringing up an old conversation rather than dealing with the email. Shannon needlessly apologizes. Somehow Heather makes the conversation about her, something that hasn’t gone unnoticed by Shannon – who redirects the conversation. Heather tells Shannon what Tamra said about Shannon being in a bad place as she was four years ago and drinking too much. Heather feels she doesn’t owe Shannon anything they’re not even in a good place. Shannon tries to leave. She again tries to appeal to Heather as a mother. Heather responds that apparently Shannon views her as a mother who lies. As the women continue talking, Terry, who excused himself earlier to get ready for a surprise party the couple is supposed to attend, is in the background listening on. Heather is rude, dismissive, and she has now made Vicki Gunvalson look like Miss Manners. Heather throws Shannon out and warbles on and on about being yelled at in her own home.
On the way home, David’s voice softens over the phone as Shannon tells him what happened. He wants to know if she’s ok to drive. He’s so sorry for what she’s just gone through. Again, I have hope for them.
Vicki, Brooks, the beach, done. I can’t speak on anything to do with them, they make my skin crawl.
Eddie and Tamra’s “baby” arrives. It’s similar to the baby RHOA’s Kenya received. I’m surprised the same woman wasn’t flown out to instruct them on caring for the doll. Tamra makes sure it’s anatomically correct and takes a picture of him to send to Vicki. As with Kenya, there will be a report to show how well the baby was cared for and who gave the most care based on contact recorded from the I.D. bracelets the Judges wear. Just then, baby “Astro” (who Tamra notes looks remarkably like Vicki’s grandson Troy) begins crying. Eddie, not Tamra, is able to get him to stop crying. Even funnier since she bragged about her skills raising children.
Shannon is meeting with her Essential Oils expert when Lizzie and Danielle show for the meeting. Lizzie doesn’t believe but is willing to respectfully listen. Discussing illnesses in her family, including her own, Lizzie tries the oil that is supposed to create happiness. Shannon tells the women that Heather apparently thinks she’s depressed recounting their meeting. Lizzie sides with Heather, and assumes Heather did what she had to do. Shannon also brings up the comments about her drinking. Danielle upsets Shannon by talking about how she can’t take even small amounts of alcohol to which Shannon tells Danielle that she’s a little judgmental and in a TH says that Danielle needs a little “Shut the Fuck up” oil.
The interstitial is about Lizzie discussing fertility issues, what are do’s and don’ts. If I had two f—ks to give about Lizzie, I wouldn’t give even one of them. Bored, don’t care.
We are now at dinner, instead of lunch, with Tamra and Shannon. Lizzie is having dinner with the Dubrows at the same time it seems. Poor Shannon is hopeful that Tams will take the high road and admit she’s shared the news with Heather. Just as I started thinking to myself it’s REALLY clear that Shannon has never watched this show, I’m stunned. Tamra admits that she DID tell Heather about the email… so now it seems that Shannon was right. Heather knew and gossiped to others. Tamra poses it as something she did to get Heather to back off of Shannon. Heather admits to Lizzie that she did tell others, who then told other individuals. Some of the women she told weren’t even her close friends! Lizzie makes excuses for Heather’s behavior. Heather claims that the house is not very big, she could hear two of her children moving around (you know, counting footsteps and all that) and since things were getting heated, she threw Shannon out… I call bullshit, shut the hell up, and have some shut-the-fuck-up oil. Shannon has a hook up and can get you some.
Heather, on full display, compares her “ruined” Christmas Eve to her spreading painful information about Shannon’s family. Yup, that makes sense. We end with a heartbroken Shannon not knowing how she can ever trust Tamra again. Psssst…don’t. We learn that Tamra lies, as she did to Shannon about what Heather knew. We learn that Heather doesn’t own her shit, as she could have by simply telling Shannon what SHE SAID, and to people with whom she isn’t particularly close. Lizzie is someone whose judgment I wouldn’t trust if she was the only other living soul and we had to help each other survive. Terry should really think about his practice if he’s going to be on air co-signing all of his wife’s bullshit behavior.
For me, Heather has entered Gretchen Rossi territory. She is so unlikable that her return next season could only ruin the show, for me at least. Good bye, Heather Rossi. I also want to remind you, dear readesr, that when Tamra gossiped about Heather at Shannon’s (the Christmas Eve Party Heather whines about) things turned into a melee because Lizzie decided they needed to get everything out then and there. When Shannon tries to do the same, minus the crowd, angry voices, and taking sides, she’s wrong? Lizzie R? You can go too. Pack your photo shoots, swimsuits I’ll never buy, as well as your sucking up and get out!
Until next week on the Real Housewives of Orange County.