The episode begins with Shanna Moakler getting another cosmetic surgical procedure called, “Airbrush Laser Lipo.” Basically she’s getting the fat in her inner thighs sucked out so she can have the “triple triangle,” as she affectionately describes it. I don’t know what the obsession is with Shanna getting all this cosmetic surgery, she certainly doesn’t need them. As Shanna says in a TH “If I have to suffer to be beautiful, then go for it.” Why not work out to get rid of the fat? Why let someone stick a 12 inch needle in your flesh? This sends the wrong message. Way to go Shanna for using this public platform to perpetuate Hollywood’s superficial values!
Meanwhile, Drea, Shamika and Nicole meet at Nicole’s palatial home set perfectly on a hill overlooking Beverly Hills. If I ever win the lotto, I want one of those. Wishful thinking I know but a girls’ gotta dream! Nicole has some good news and bad news. She starts with the good news first, she’s planning a girls trip to Hawaii. Drea and Shamika start clapping and cheering then their expressions of joy are quickly diminish when Nicole says “I want all my girls to go.” Nicole wants to invite Jessica to Hawaii. Womp womp! Drea immediately smells a dead cat and a musty weave! Despite Drea and Shamika’s threats to burn Jessica at the luau, Nicole wants to mend fences between Jessica and the other ladies. Oh Nicole.
Nicole, Mayte and Sheree are geared up for round two with Jessica. The last time the ladies met with Jessica things didn’t end well, Jessica became defensive and ran for the door. Sheree and Nicole agree that Jessica’s text hurt them. What in the world is Mayte wearing? It’s like Betty White, Cindy Lauper meets Rupaul throw up. Jessica arrives and Sheree starts off letting her know, she’s in a safe environment with people who love her.
Jessica blames the situation on Shamicka and Drea’s comments about Austin being immature. WHAT? She says in her TH “Sheree tries to be so prissy behind her ghetto-ness!!” WTH! Jessica is unapologetic and makes no sincere apologies. After the women pour their hearts out to her, she becomes indignant and gets up to storm off. Uh…not so quick, b*tch!
Crazy Super Mayte springs into action, chases after Jessica and physically restrains her. Yes, physically restrains her from exiting the building! Jessica is screaming, “let me go….LET ME GO!….DON’T TOUCH ME…..WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?” All the while, Mayte continues to aggressively shove and push Jessica back into the house while hollowing “it’s coming from love.” WTF? VH1 better keep 5150 on speed dial. Is this what Sheree meant by safe environment? This is a dramatic scene and little nerve wrecking as the Mayte and Jessica tussle. Those poor cameramen probably flinched while filming that scene. After being physically accosted, Jessica decides to face the fire and comes back inside to resume the discussion. I can’t say I feel sorry for Jessica. Her disregard for her friends feelings and continual use of the phrase “I’m sorry but black and white don’t mix, ok” shows profound duplicity.
Shanna is struggling with a fear of flying. She meets with a therapist to discuss her fear of flying before travelling to Hawaii with the girls. Shanna experienced 3 hours of bad turbulence on a recent flight coupled with her ex-hubby having survived a plane crash resulting in many fatalities. The therapist listens, validates her fears and offers stern coping tools and Xanax.
The ladies are on their way Hawaii, minus Drea, who missed her flight. The crew arrives at the beautiful home of Nicole’s friend and she was right “he hooked her up!” The ladies immediately start relaxing and getting comfortable. They change into their bikinis and hit the pool. The house comes equipped with a personal chef and a stocked bar. Turn up time!
Meanwhile, Mayte and her boyfriend, Humberto, are experiencing a bump in a road. They haven’t seen each other in 8 weeks and the long distance is hurting their relationship. She finds a quiet spot away from the group to speak with him. Humberto is acting distant and Mayte fears the worst. She shares her concerns with the ladies and gets an earful from Sheree aka Ree Ree. Yes, Ree Ree is back! Sheree has taken her truth serum again and talking. Oh oh! She tells Mayte something is wrong because Humberto couldn’t make the trip to Hawaii to see Mayte. Sheree thinks Humberto is getting cold feet. Me thinks so too!
The ladies sit down to dinner and Sheree is already two sheets to the wind. They all laugh and joke around about “tossing salads” over dinner. Everyone is having a blast but Sheree can’t hold her liquor and excuses herself. Later, the ladies find Sheree praying to the porcelain god, “raggedy anne-style,” and help her to bed. After the ladies get her into the bed, Shamika seizes the opportunity to draw on Sheree’s face and take pics. First one to bed gets it first, she says. Shamika is a prankster at heart. The ladies laugh and Sheree wakes up and laughs with them. End scene.
Stay tuned for next week’s recap.