Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Oh No Heather Didn’t! [Episode 8]

 

Shannon has a small army setting up for her “cheap, but without a budget” Christmas party.  It’s the first HW party I’ve wanted to attend!

Tamra and Ryan are back in Dr. Lee’s office. The testosterone derivative are working for her and she believes that she’s getting better muscle tone. Ryan, however, is showing significant abnormalities. His HDLs (good fats) are too low, his LDLs are too high. His iron is almost 1200- he could have hemochromatosis. At age 28, he needs to see a cardiologist and possibly an endocrinologist. Tamra is terrified for him. He agrees to get his system clean. Later in the episode, Tamra shares that Ryan’s grandfather died of a heart attack at age 50.

Heather is on “Good Day L.A.” discussing “Hawaii Five-O.”  She thinks it will be good for other producers and casting directors to remember she’s around. Steve Edwards, host of “Good Day L.A.” just gave me reason to celebrate not being a local. Heather has been invited to be a guest host. One of the (producers?) in the room makes a yuck face when Heather claims that Edwards is like her other husband. I’m right there with you, unidentified scene stealing woman.

Shannon is getting ready for the party, taking time to snark at David for his glass(es) of tequila. Heather is telling Terry to record “Hawaii Five-O” (whose producers must be wetting themselves given how many times the Dubrows have said the name of the show). She reads her list of East Coast messages congratulating her on “Dark Shadows” appearance. HA! I just wanted to see if you were paying attention, or if you have to, like me, substitute the name of the show because… sigh… “Hawaii Five-O” is a show title you never want to hear again. Heather hopes that making amends with Shannon means that she, Vicki, Shannon, and Tamra will all be friends and that she won’t be left out. The guests are all arriving at the Beadors and I’m hoping the night goes well.

Vicki recounts her Oklahoma adventures with everyone, and Lizzie thinks Vicki is warming up to her. In a private conversation with Tamra and Eddie, Heather mentions “Hawaii Five-O,” Good Day L.A., and says that she wants to bring CutFitness to the latter show. In a move not to be believed, Tamra Sue reminds Heather of another time she co-hosted promoting a different fitness studio – and that it was a stab to the heart. I like Heather about as much as I like mold on strawberries, but WHAT THE HELL? What is Tamra thinking? She claims that Orange Theory was Heather’s workout studio.  

Heather says that she still had nothing to do with inviting them. Tamra then drops a bomb stating that Terry sent Tamra a text stating that he told Heather not to “do that.” Terry is silent. Interesting. Heather claims that Terry told her she shouldn’t co-host because it would upset Tamra (who makes the argument Heather is not a working woman and therefore doesn’t understand how losing that opportunity hurt her). WHOA! 

Heather claims that her only choice was to not host that day but why would she? It was an opportunity. The plot thickens when Tamra says that the instructors who work for her and for Orange Theory told her that Heather was the person who got OT on the show. Eddie is over it, thinks Heather is being a friend and wants to move forward. Hell, it’s like he doesn’t know who he’s married to. Move on?  Tamra?  In a TH, Tamra seems 100 percent sure Heather was responsible for bringing on the OT crew – two whom she’s giving additional free publicity. 

As the party continues, the Beadors have taken every step imaginable to make sure everyone have a good time (THIS is why I started watching these shows).Food and drink are everywhere and one of two of the world’s highly regarded candy sculptors is standing there making candy Christmas ornaments for guests to take home. Beautiful. And then the ugly, two people Vicki meets for the first time report that they’re not together, they’re just good friends, Vicki asks if they are doing the “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” The man reports that his husband is on the other side of the room, he’s gay. Vicki, in a shocked tone, tells him he doesn’t look gay. Precious.  This is the woman who thinks that Oklahoma is simply beneath her.

Speaking of, Vicki wankers on about Oklahoma to Heather and says that she refuses to be an absentee granny, she’ll do what she can to make sure the grandchildren know her. Vicki can’t believe she won’t be able to drive over to see Brianna. In a TH, she theorizes that being with her family back in Chicago would have kept her marriage together – they would have helped get them all through the tough times. She doesn’t want to see Brianna ever go through a divorce – just live apart from her husband to keep Vicki from being alone.

Tamra Sue steps in it deep this time. She tells Shannon about her conflict with Heather, including the fact that Heather invited a number of her close contacts to join her on Good Day L.A. when she hosted before.  She also shares that Heather wanted her pick a side between her and Shannon after the hoedown.  Shannon’s voice hits an octave that most dogs can’t hear!  Lucky for you, AATT readers, I’m a bitch (or so I’ve been told) so I hear her just fine. She can’t believe Heather wants anyone to choose. Lizzie, a woman I once thought was perceptive, says that the two women have a rivalry, a comment Shannon denies and is rightly offended by, in my book.  True to her word, Shannon wants to set things straight by talking to Heather as they promised they would do, after that disastrous lunch. Tamra turns two shades of busted-to-hell blue and wants Shannon to let it go, for now. 

Heather walks in and Tams asks where Vicki is –a cry for reinforcements from Tamra.  The room is silent and Lizzie decides to get everything out in the open. Tamra and Shannon are pissed at Lizzie. Lizzie gives a Cheshire grin.  Heather is peeved and again claims that she didn’t go out of her way to upset Tamra.  Shannon explodes Shannon style – telling Heather to stop turning things around. Shannon wants her to stop being condescending. Heather doesn’t like having Shannon speak to her the way she speaks to Tamra.  In a TH Heather says that if she’s talking down to someone, she probably is – because they’re acting like a moron.  Shannon brings up the “pick a side” conversation. Heather doesn’t deny the comment, but calls the conversation an ambush.  She says that she won’t be yelled at.  Shannon has her number and again tells her she’s good at turning things around. 

Vicki is dead silent. Heather calls the discussion a “Yell at Heather moment” and brings up the word ambush again. Note that she does not fault Lizzie for getting it started. She never felt they were “ambushing” Gretchen (the HW I loathe) or Alexis (loved by the end).  She, Vicki, and Tamra were just having conversations with them – spreading the truth.  It should also be noted that Heather still doesn’t deny making the “choose a side” comment. In what seems like a stunning turn of events, Vicki, in a TH (where the courage flows), agrees with Heather and feels that Heather didn’t do anything wrong, Tams should be happy.  I see both sides. In Tamra’s shoes I’d take the publicity and keep Heather at arm’s length. Don’t let hurt feelings get in the way of making money.

Terry is dragged into the conversation. In another room he is talking about his rock star brother’s success, but leaves and joins the women as summoned. He sits there, mostly quiet, as Heather finishes explaining/interpreting Terry’s text – YIKES!  As Tams walks away angry, Heather suddenly gets a call from her sick son – though Vicki notes (in a TH) the screen didn’t light up – no one was on the phone. Any casting director watching this should think twice. Heather and Terry note that it’s late (10:30) and they have to rush home to take care of him.

In the interstitial, David tells Christian that he has heard that if you’re happy when making babies you produce boys, and if you’re unhappy you produce girls and then asks “right Sophie?”… yeah, his daughter, who  smiles. I just fell out of love with David Beador, permanently.

The husbands are over the conflict while Tamra is talking to Danielle and her husband Joe, complaining that Heather is never wrong and that’s the problem. Just then Heather walks up to say goodbye. They hug though Heather isn’t loving Tamra at that moment. In a TH, Heather says that Tamra is fired up by something she’s so wrong about.  HILARLIOUS!  Shannon, in a TH, gives her den mother pep talk and says that Tamra shouldn’t feel inferior to Heather, that she’s a smart gal and a successful woman.

On the ride home, Terry again defends his text message to Tamra but feels he shouldn’t take responsibility for how someone else interprets his message and Heather states that the text was misconstrued.  Damn, even with the show off the air I can’t get away from RHOA – Gregg Leakes and the pronunciation “misconscrewed” immediately come to mind!!!! If I loved the Dubrows, I still wouldn’t believe them.  Heaven help me, I think Tamra is telling the truth about how much control Heather actually had in casting those she worked with before during her last Good Day LA stint.

Tamra wants Vicki to stay with her and VICKI tells Tamra not to be so needy. Vicki tells Tamra she was too hard on Heather.  She says that a free appearance was a gift. Vicki can be a wild card!

Until next week.

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