Ladies of London Recap: “A Match Made in Tabloid Heaven” [Episode 2]

This week’s episode opens with Juliet and her adorable children. She muses that American moms are a lot more hands-on than British mothers and says that even working moms in America find time for their children. I’m not sure if this is a compliment to working moms or not.

Marissa is at a restaurant giving instructions, buying Bloody Mary’s for a table of women, and reminiscing about her days in New York opening up the hottest bars, restaurants, and night-clubs. Now, in London, her husband owns these bars, restaurants and night clubs. Guess that’s why we don’t see much of him, but Marissa is helping to build their empire.

Juliet arrives at the restaurant, the two ladies order lunch and discuss the polo match. They agree that Americans are more fun than Brits. According to Juliet, the Brits need to lighten up. They also talk about the upcoming Serpentine Gallery summer party where all of London’s who’s who will be in attendance. Juliet is working the party, dressing people because she’s in fashion. Also according to Juliet, it’s kind of like the Oscar’s (Umm…without the awards.) Marissa wants to get the ladies together for cocktails before the event, kind of like a pre-prom party. (Without the excitement.)

Noelle meets Scot for lunch – and to hear all about the divorce.Scot says the wife has run out of funding and now wants two million dollars.This has been the merry-go-round for four years. She wants more. He claims not to have more.Noelle changes the subject to rental flats. Scot thinks that since they are a “pretty fabulous couple” and since he’s making “pretty great progress” with the divorce, Noelle should look at flats big enough for the two of them.Scot mentions three months credit and they fist bump over it. Did Noelle just agree to pay the rent?

Next we are at Caprice’s house where she drops a bombshell. She’s having two babies! But not twins, because that’s what normal people do. No, she’s having one baby herself and a surrogate in America is having the other baby. These two lucky kids will be four weeks apart.

We then shift to Caroline’s spectacular house in Surrey where it’s “feeding time at the zoo.” In other words, it’s breakfast with the children before school. After Lazlo, the gentle giant chauffeurs the children to school, Caroline recounts the polo match for her husband, Jim, about the fist-pumping Americans.Caroline says the most astounding thing: She likes the Americans! We learn that Jim is a finance investment banker in private equities and spends 10 days a month out of the UK. He is unable to attend Serpentine. Caroline is not bothered by this, but complains that drinks beforehand with the other ladies will be a nightmare time-wise. Jim teases Caroline that her life is so tough. These two seem to really enjoy each other’s company—all 20 days of them.

We are back with Caprice who is on the phone with her mother explaining that they are giving (or selling) the story about her two babies to one of the British tabloids. This way she can get ahead of the story. If she doesn’t, they might make up their own story like Caprice purchased the baby or Caprice is more concerned with her body. Her mother agrees with this decision.

Noelle and Scot are viewing a furnished rental flat that goes for $6,700 a month. Noelle is not impressed with the flat. Clearly she is not a gold-digger because this place does not say, gold-digger. It’s actually quite nice with a roof-top terrace. But even more upsetting than the non-gold-digger digs, is the fact that Scot cannot get tickets to Serpentine. Noelle already has the Carolina Herrera dress. The horror. Noelle calls Marissa to ask for extra tickets. Marissa says she’ll try.

Caroline is at her gift company having a business meeting and getting a pedicure. Multi-tasking at it’s finest. Someone brings her the tabloids. Although Caroline knew about the two babies, she is shocked to see it on the front page. Juliet and Marissa discuss this by phone and are equally shocked, but they decide it must be a really slow news day. Annabelle calls Caprice to tell her she’s on the cover of the paper. For Annabelle, although she’s been covered by the press before for wild behavior with limited clothing, she doesn’t actively pursue being in the paper. Caprice is thrilled her story is out there so everyone can celebrate with her. She is particularly thrilled to have gotten the front cover over Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. Juliet and Marissa are probably right – slow news day.

Noelle shows up at a salon to have her hair and make up done, just in case a ticket should land in her lap. We see quick shots of the ladies receiving professional makeup and hair. Scot shows up at the salon and delivers the bad news – no tickets. The event is at capacity. Noelle is not happy.

Marissa has ordered champagne and lite-bites for the ladies. She looks sweet in her yellow, long gown. Noelle and Scot arrive and are disappointed to learn that Marissa was unable to find extra tickets. Caroline arrives in her sparkly green, Roberto Cavalli dress that was taken out of the archives just for her.And guess what? Caroline has an extra ticket, but unfortunately only one of them can go. That’s an easy choice since Noelle is wearing a designer dress and Scot hasn’t even shaved. Annabelle floats in wearing a gorgeous Alexander McQueen dress designed by Sara Burton. However, the dress voted most memorable will be that of Caprice’s – a pink dress with shiny green cockroaches imprinted on it. Caroline asks: “Has she an ounce of dignity left?” She’s talking about the story in the tabloids, but she might as well have be referring to that dress.

Lots of celebrities are shown entering Serpentine: Kate Moss, Ewan McGregor, Naomi Campbell, HRH Princess Beatrice, and Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick to name a few. Noelle says that it feels good to walk the red carpet without Scot so she can be recognized as her own person – something tells me that’s not how she’ll be recognized.