Real Housewives of New York Recap: ‘Bon Voyage Ramona’ [Episode 10]

 

 

If ever Countess LuAnn wanted you to forget that in her (real? former?) life she was a commoner, it probably all came back to you tonight. Nurse Lu is examining Kristen and lets her know that she does not need stitches nor does she need fillers to fix her lip. Bravo hates violence, so it opens with the scene from the lake lest you forget that Ramona hit Kristen with a glass. In a TH, Kristen now regrets having defended Ramona against Aviva’s comment from last season, stating that she was “white trash.” Ramona didn’t stick around to find out if Kristen was ok or to apologize. She and Sonya are in the car discussing how Kristen was at fault. That discussion continues back at Heather’s garage-house.

Kristen and Carole laugh about Ramona’s “obsession?” with her blow dry. While they are laughing, Sonja steams, commenting on the childhood verbal abuse Ramona suffered, while watching her mother suffer physical abuse – both victims of Ramona’s father and how no one understands. Ramona is fearful that she is becoming her father. Sonja’s emotional breakdown over Ramona comparing herself to her dad feels over-the-top and disproportionate, as does Ramona’s response when Heather tries to smooth things over before dinner. (Remember when Kristen compared “Ramonja” to “crazy aunts”? Well, these two are doing a “crazy aunts in the attic” impression not to be believed.) Ramona tells Heather about her own facial injury, one she caused when firing a shotgun that recoiled. The only way those two events are related is that Ramona is at the center; she has hurt herself and another person.

If Heather was hoping for peace she was wrong. Ramona wants Kristen to know that she reacted “instinctually” to what Kristen did (throwing the water at her – which was juvenile and stupid, but not harmful) and that she’s sorry. Kristen chalks it up to a non- apology with Ramona wanting to know who Kristen thinks she is to throw water at her. It gets loud, and Ramona is the champion of loud. You can never win with her by raising your voice. In a TH Kristen asks if Ramona is the “Wicked Witch of the Hamptons.” Ramona tells Kristen that she behaved like her father who was the last person she threw something at 30 years ago.

Carole noted in an earlier conversation with Kristen that Ramona’s anger is 0 to 60. As far as I’m concerned Ramona has lived a privileged life with enough resources to have gotten help so that she doesn’t aggress out against others. Last week Ramona tweeted a message that seemed to express shame and remorse. This week’s episode painted a different picture.

Ramona is screaming “Who are you to get me wet?” and Kristen is trying to explain that she is the one who has a split lip, telling her to calm down. Heather re-lives her own conflict with Ramona – we see a flashback of Ramona accusing Heather of having a phony smile. Ramona equates being upset over getting wet to Kristen being upset over a split lip.

The bottom line is this: Ramona feels that she’s apologized. Other than Sonja, no one else does. Almost 20 minutes are wasted on this crazy bullshit and I want Bravo to give me that time back. Somebody better BRING IT the rest of this season or the next. As dinner continues, Heather surprises the ladies with a white jumpsuit clad Elvis impersonator, who lightens the mood at dinner. Kristen goes gah-gah and runs off with “Elvis” – no, we haven’t forgotten Brandi spilling the tea on the Vegas Elvis Impersonator incident. Ramona takes the opportunity, in a TH, to knock Kristen’s obsession with “overweight Elvis” and asks if it’s the best the Berkshires has to offer. I’m thinking there is probably an abundance of manners in the Berkshires, enough to spare, if needed… just throwing that out there.

The next morning the women are having breakfast as Ramona calls her friend, Adam, and asks him to fly in to pick her up. This is the kind of boss move that makes me wish Ramona wasn’t weighed down by the rest of her behavior. I don’t know that I could score a ride to the grocery store without serious effort. Ramona lies when Carole stops in, claiming she’s not packing, only reorganizing her things. At breakfast, Heather thinks the tension has melted. Ramona (who thinks Kristen is trying to be a martyr) feels that the tension can be cut with a knife. It doesn’t help that Sonja wants to remind everyone that Kristen ruined Sonja’s hair as they are all getting ready for a hike – where Heather extolls the virtues of nature while showing the women what the property was like before they cleared it. Sweet sweet irony.

Walking through the woods, Ramona tells Carole how the area reminds her of where she grew up and how awful things were – she “freaks out”. She believes her father moved them onto a 70 acre property so the neighbors wouldn’t hear the screaming. She shows Carole how she would play in the woods and imagine her own (safe?) home. She says that she has to leave and begins crying. Carole is not sympathetic. Ramona talks to Heather to let her know that it is best she leaves – we already know that Ramona is waiting on a pick up. Heather is sympathetic. Carole calls Ramona out (in a TH) about her “act”. Kristen is not sympathetic which causes a huge outcry from Sonja who is angry that Kristen can’t empathize with Ramona’s past and that she won’t take responsibility for “provoking” Ramona. (I can’t wait to see how @Andy deals with this issue after asking ATL’s Kenya if she provoked Porsha’s violent attack). Heather says that using “provoked” is the wrong adjective. In a TH Countess Lu snarks that provoke is a verb, not an adjective. Sonja feels that Kristen intentionally went after Ramona knowing what her hot buttons were and suspects that it may have been for attention.

Ramona feels ‘free” when her friend arrives. I feel free watching her leave.

The interstitial scene is of the women taking a swim near a waterfall (illegally, and foolishly, I might add since there are “No Swimming” signs posted. It still looks like fun).

Back at the house, as the women prepare for a lake party, Sonja realizes that Ramona left without saying good bye and is bummed, but not for long. The pontoon boat captain just turned 20 years old and Sonja can’t help herself. I think she’s scaring the kid with promises of an amazing night – asking if she can stay with him though he earlier mention staying at his parents’ home. As the other women are swimming Sonja stays onboard, while the rightfully frightened 20 year old is trying to get her to go into the lake. Carole and Kristen begin discussing the lip and Ramona. SERIOUSLY? Why not just enjoy the day? What is the point of Carole telling Kristen that Ramona sees her as just another pretty face? Kristen, who thinks Carole is the most sane, states that Ramona is just another petty bitch. Stir that pot unnecessarily, Carole. Sonja saddens me. She’s still pushing for the kid’s phone number at the end of the trip.

WHAT? Kristen calls her husband “Woo”. As much as their relationship freaks me out, I think it’s cute that she has a nickname for him. Josh is not happy to hear about Ramona’s “Jerry Springer”/bar brawl behavior.

We end with Heather taking the women into town and the scenery is gorgeous. The women sit down to dinner and I’m hopeful that it will be a pleasant one. Sonja (jokingly) refers to Carole as a bullshit bisexual and tells the group that Carole told her she’s had experiences with women but turned Sonja down. Carole (jokingly) says that she didn’t want to ruin the friendship. Carole both makes it clear in a TH that she’s not into women, though she loves them, and manages to play 6 degrees of separation just to drag Aviva into the conversation. She says that if she were into women, she’d never sleep with Sonja because that means she would have slept with Harry and by extension Aviva – who is not her type. Ramona gets dragged back into the conversation as well. As the conversation continues, Lu shares a text from a friend who states that Ramona is at a party in the Hamptons.

Sonja looks crestfallen. She has no response to the women discussing Ramona’s use of her childhood abuse to manipulate others. Sonja finally speaks up and refuses to believe she’s been lied to. Sonja is a good friend. I just don’t think she has good judgment in friends. She is cleared of her illusions about Ramona when a picture is shared showing Ramona having a good time. The group plans to have an intervention to express their displeasure with Ramona’s behavior.

What Ramona did was AWFUL, there’s no way around that. To hear the women gleefully laugh about planning an “intervention” to get even was awful, too. An intervention is not a joke and it’s not meant to be used as part of some revenge scheme. Each of those women should have known better. That said?

Next week should be interesting and Bravo may just make up for the 20 minutes I (we?) lost.