Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: ‘Fakes-giving, Fake Friends’ [Episode 3]

The Donner dinner party (on crack) continues when Tamra notes that Shannon is not as fancy pants as Heather when it comes to socializing. She is stunned that Shannon cooked for them. Vicki asks Terry whether Heather cooks every night which apparently she does not and Vicki seems satisfied knowing she’s found yet another Heather “flaw.” Heather seems to hear Vicki and Terry’s conversation and does not look happy. Does she ever look happy? Smug and self-satisfied? Yes. Happy? No. Shannon is telling the Beador love story as Vicki keeps throwing out questions only to be admonished by Heather for not letting Shannon speak.

Now it’s Vicki’s turn to look unhappy. Earlier, David made a joke that no one laughed at, there was too much tension between the husband and wife. Heather notes, in the awkward silence, how much David and Terry are alike in loving their own bad jokes. That is the Heather I could love, not the woman who acts as if she met Tamra and Vicki at the Opera and now they like Bluegrass and eating Cheetos of the bag. Hell, they were always Cheetos out of the bag girls and Bluegrass is good music.

It is Heather’s turn to tell the Dubrow love story and Vicki and Tams talk over her and to one another. Everyone begins talking when the guests get up to take a look at the basketball court, including Terry. Vicki is woohoo-ing and shooting baskets. Tamra, who last week noted that the Dubrows didn’t have a coat check room, this week notes that they did not have a bball court either. Um, neither does Tamra and Eddie. Tamra and Shannon sneak off to the kitchen to do shots, not knowing that Heather has followed. Shannon gives Tamra an herbal “party smart” pill which allows the drinker to have a good “morning after.” Oh, you know where that’s going. Tamra makes a joke about not getting pregnant after using the pill.

Heather feels the need to correct Tamra and reminds her that she won’t get pregnant since she had her tubes tied. DAY-YUM. Harsh. I ignore them both while thinking about what the show would be like if someone gave Tams and Vicki “live smart” pills. Vicki walks in as Heather huffs and puffs, walking away from the debauchery.

We see Heather peering down at them as Tamra and Vicki talk about the stick up Heather’s ass. It works both ways, ladies, it is not like they met her standing around the clearance bin at a dollar store. Heather storms off to manland and hangs out with the husbands while the wives invade the hidden tea room. For whatever reason Heather decides to talk to Eddie about her earlier wombfire conversation with Tamra. In her TH Heather notes that Eddie does not want children. Tamra is being dishonest and she is the one who wants a child. She’s done her damage, makes her excuse to leave, and drags Terry home from his play date with the fellas. Eddie tells Tamra what Heather said. He wants her to stop sharing their business with her friends. Heather tells Terry that she would rather have one fabulous friend than a dozen pieces of sh*t. I am thankful she didn’t lose her cool at the dinner party. Terri gives a look he has probably given a dozen times before – where will he find new play friends? I wonder how many times Heather has been through something like this.

The boozing continues at Shannon and David’s when Vicki invites everyone to her house for pre-Thanksgiving dinner. Shannon puts David down again, Tams shows how to give an evil eye, and i keep hoping they will all get home safely.

Later, Tamra and Vicki get together to talk about the Beador marriage. Vicki says that she is starting to realize hoe Donn felt and wish they’d communicated more. Seeing clips of him makes me miss the early seasons. Tamra reveals that Shannon was still angry the next day. They hope the couple gets help when the conversation turns to the situation with Brianna and Brooks still not getting along. They have yet to be in the same room. Both women also note that they have not been in the same room with Heather since the party. Both note Heather’s tone is more than they can bear. Neither will confront her and admit they would lose in an argument with her – including a battle of wicked facial expressions.

Back at camp Beador, David is lowering the bargain priced $120k chandelier to change the bulbs. Shannon shocks me and calls David fun….before snarking at him about how loud and slow the chandelier is on the way back up. She says that she fights with him to feel loved and important. Someone missed badly when explaining to her the use of reverse psychology. I’m guessing he does not feel loved and important.

Vicki’s next heavy conversation is with Brianna – who feels that her mother is physically with her but is more worried about Brooks and why he is not at her side. Vicki claims she cut ties with him when Brianna reveals they went to dinner the night of the reunion!!!!! Vicki says it’s not true. She feels that her mother is covering for an abuser and Vicki loses her cool and yells that she would never do that. Troy begins crying during the conversation. Brianna refuses to be a part of the part of Vicki’s life that includes him, citing her health, pregnancy, and move. For what it is worth, I believe Brianna.

Pre-Thanksgiving (Friends-giving) comes and the dinner is lovely. Michael notices his mother’s jewelry and wonders whether she’ll leave it to him, Brianna or Brooks… eh, I’m kidding about the last part. The necklace is Vicki’s 88 carat divorce gift to herself. Tams notes in a TH that all she got was a box of bullshit. Tamra at least feels free at dinner and that she can be herself at dinner without Heather.

Oddly enough, the next scenes are of Heather and Tamra. Tams reaches out, saying that Heather is too close a friend to give up. Heather tells Tams about her trip to NY for the holiday before an awkward silence sets in. Then comes the discussion about Shannon’s party. I don’t know if I want to be around for this. Heather feels that she is constantly cut off or ignored. Tamra tells Heather that she comes across as a know it all. Heather, in a TH, says that no one knows even half of what she knows because she is always being cut off. HA! I can’t believe she actually has more to say. She talks all the damn time. I think she completely ignored the tone argument.

Neither woman wants to feel inhibited. Tamra thinks that Heather has taken things to an extreme. Heather thinks Tamra doesn’t get it. RHOC is all about the happy endings this season, so far. They make up and Tamra invites her to an ugly sweater party.

Next week’s episode, we meet the other new housewife and Brooks returns. It all looks intense. I can’t wait.