We start this week’s episode with Dr. Jackie shoving food in her mouth before answering a phone call. “Chew girl, you’re going to choke!” That’s my “Dr. Lily” advice!
Mariah is ill. Dr. Aydin cuts his hand on a can of soup for Mariah’s lunch. Blood everywhere! Who knew Bravo TV could get so gory? Daughter Lauren brings him a Mickey Mouse bandage. I prefer Hello Kitty ones. (More “Dr. Lily” advice!)
Quad (in some satin polka dot pajamas that I am totally stealing) gives her husband the rundown on her off-camera night with Mariah. Quad and Mariah were at the same restaurant, so Quad says she wanted to try to make up. She said Mariah was “drunk boots – man down – boots in the air!” Quad’s husband said he does not like public displays like Quad and Mariah arguing in public. He said that two adults should not act like such. (If they did, Bravo TV would not have an evening line up!) Quad boils over and starts screaming at poor Dr. Eugene. She says Mariah was taken out by security. Dr. Eugene wises up that all Quad wants is support, so he kisses her and says he is sorry she had to go through that. (Husband 101 lesson there!)
Finally we get more than 2 seconds of new cast member Lisa Nicole. Dr. Jackie drops by. Lisa Nicole says she is a quadruple threat – beautiful, intelligent, articulate and rich. (I’m just a triple threat then.) She has a direct sales company and explains what this is, but I still don’t get it. I did like seeing shots of RHOA’s Dwight in the “Businesswoman Lisa Nicole is busy” montage! Lisa Nicole starts talking about herself in the third person at one point. I was like “Oh no, don’t go there!” Lisa Nicole is helping Dr. Jackie pick out a sequined evening gown. I guess no more Daisy Duke basketball shorts for Dr. J!
Dr, Jackie meets with an overweight patient. Dr. J says that the incident with Dr. Heavenly has made her realize she needs to be more sensitive when discussing a patient’s weight. Now I’d like to say “REALLY? You didn’t realize this up until NOW?” But instead I will be less biatchy and say anything that makes a Doctor more cognizant of their bedside manner is a good thing.
Toya is having a birthday party for her son Avery. Her parents ask her if she can afford it. Whoops! Another financial budgeting talk for Toya! She says the expensive rides for the party are necessary because her son is TURNING TWO! Suze Orman would smack her.
Then it is the return of Chakiva, Ms. Georgia Plus! Dr. J is feeling bad that she may have hurt her feelings so she invites Chavika and Dr. Heavenly to her office. Dr. J apologizes to Ms. Georgia Plus. Classy move, Dr. Jackie. Too many people sweep misunderstandings under the rug versus growing up, owning up and apologizing. I applaud that Dr. Jackie apologized on camera. Chakiva accepts her apology. Dr. Heavenly, however, seems like she needs a pound of flesh in addition to the apology. She lost 75 pounds and is sensitive to comments about plus size women. I like Dr. Heavenly but her voice was strained as if she was about to scream or cry. Keep it together, Lady!
Lisa Nicole and Dwight are going to Avery’s birthday party. Like any Bravo kids birthday party, Avery’s celebration is a monster extravaganza that he will never remember. Dr. Heavenly says that Toya should have invested the money for Avery instead of throwing this giant, expensive party. WHAT? A Bravo cast member who is fiscally reasonable? Dr. Heavenly, you’re like a mythical unicorn!
Dr. Heavenly says Dwight looks familiar and he replies “Do you watch porn?” (I am SO stealing that line!) The ladies and Dwight dish on the Quad-Mariah fight. Flashbacks to Mariah and Toya’s physical fight from last season. Toya says “The Devil only changes his outfits.”
Dr. Gregory serenades Quad on the guitar with an ultimatum fertility song. (More Husband 101 lessons are needed here!) Quad pulls out the 5 love languages book and starts quizzing Dr. Eugene. If she starts talking like RHOC Vicki about her love tank, I am going to turn the channel. Dr. Eugene looks like he’d rather have a rectal exam before talking more about relationships. Quad does not appreciate him minimizing her feelings. Love tank running out of fuel?
Dr. Simone, Mariah and their husbands go out to a restaurant that I must try. Thanks to Bravo’s Shahs of Sunset, I understood the toast Dr. Aydin gave. I’m #FluentByBravo. Mariah gives her side of the off-camera fight with Quad. Mariah says Quad is playing the victim. She also thinks Quad used her for her connections and now is throwing her away. Mariah said after she was thrown out of the restaurant she called her husband and cried like a baby. Dr. Simone thinks there is a lot more to this story than Mariah is sharing.
Mariah says Quad treated her like a dog. End of episode.
Next week: Dr. Heavenly and her sassy daughter exchange some words about Dr. H’s ambitions. These two seriously need their own spin-off! Dr. Heavenly’s daughter is the RHONJ Milania of Atlanta. Side eye ahoy! Stay tuned!
When SouthTampaLily grows up she wants to be a cult leader or Faye Dunaway in “Mommie Dearest.” Until she finds some maturity, she spends copious amounts of time watching reality television and training her cats for the circus. Follow her on