Real Housewives of New York Recap: ‘Everybody Thinks We’re Drag Queens’ [Episode 5]

 

This week on The Real Housewives of New York picks up at LuAnn’s Hamptons BBQ from hell with gangtsa boo Heather and Amanda Sanders (Image Consultant) bickering back and forth. Heather’s had enough of the new girl (Amanda Sanders) interjecting and threats of decking. Heather says, if you’re going to deck me at least stand up straight. Amanda, please don’t deck Heather, her honker is large enough. Heather didn’t think Amanda made a great first impression — and apparently neither did Carole. So Heather appointed herself “behavioral” police and will school Amanda on etiquette. Anyone else see the irony here? When Amanda tried to interject into her argument with Aviva, Carole gave her a side-eye beneath that fedora and simply said she didn’t know her. LuAnn was so happy at the bar, all she wants to do is eat her cake and be left alone from this Amanda Sanders business?

Shockingly — this BookGate issue is still not resolved and the lines have been drawn in the sand . Aviva tries to smooth things over with a  “well wisher toast” but it goes over less-than-perfectly,  “Women with a story to tell putting pen to paper….women supporting other women.” Heather can’t help but get involved in a fight that’s not hers. It’s at this point that gangsta boo Heather broke out her “Bad Boy Records” dictionary. You can’t tell Heather “anything mother f—er.” Heather didn’t respond to Aviva’s question of if she learned it in prison or if she learned it from P.Diddy. Wherever it came from, the night disbanded pretty quickly after, and everyone left what Amanda affectionately referred to as “crazyville.”

The next morning, Sonja assembled the ladies for a much calmer brunch, but apparently the food was a little too crunchy and she popped her tooth out. Thankfully Harry wasn’t around to see such antics, but a helpful party guest was on hand to recommend Polident (plus a legion of interns to reinsert the tooth). Lady Morgan is going through a financial strain and is being held together by free dinners, borrowed homes, Polident and band-aids. The old Mercedes needs a complete overhaul but she can’t afford it. Sonja cuts straight to the “tooth” with Aviva and let’s her know the girls just aren’t feeling her because of the St. Barts incident. So we get to the heart of the matter with Heather and Carole’s beef. An argument that took place last season that had nothing to do with them. Geez!!

Back in Manhattan, Carole has been crowned queen of the Mermaid Parade (an honor more illustrious than her Emmy). But what’s a mermaid without some stylish scales, so she asks her new BFF, Heather and Kristen to help her costume shop. And to my surprise, BookGate was the hot topic at mermaid couture shopping as well — even the clerk couldn’t help but weigh in on who he was siding with. Heather says she’s over Aviva’s “antics,” and she’ll break out the language again if need be. Such a classy mother and wife!

Sonja tries to help Aviva relax with a “light laser” work but no amount of face masks can stop them from talking about BookGate. Sonja is shocked that Carole is dropping Aviva as a BFF and that Heather has gone full “guardian dog” about the whole situation. She’s not alone, I’m also shocked that Heather and Carole reasoning for not liking Aviva.

Aviva decides to have a drama-free day of arts and crafts with her kids. As long as no one paints a picture of a ghostwriter, this should be fine. Aviva discuss with her hubby that her childhood friend Becky has reached out to her. Becky is the friend Aviva was playing with when her leg-losing accident occurred. And so Aviva and Reid decide to reconnect with Becky by going back to the barn where it all happened to try to get some closure. The next day, Reid and Aviva are off to revisit the moment Aviva’s life changed. This is a chance for her to set herself — and Becky free.

Meanwhile, Heather, Carole, Kristen and Sonja make the trek to Coney Island to the Mermaid Parade. After some confusion between high schoolers and drag queens, the ladies finally end up on the float they prefer (drag queens with alcohol). That’s about the time they started to worry that perhaps the crowd thought they were drag queens. Sonja had a tough time making it to the parade on time (she lost another tooth), but eventually she made it — and nearly poked LuAnn’s eye out in the process. Besides her royal duties, Carole took some time to pen an ode to the Mermaid Sisterhood for her fellow Housewives. Another chess move to get the ladies on her side.

Aviva and Reid arrive at the farm. Becky welcomes them to her house with open arms, but going back to the day in question is extremely painful but Aviva wants Becky to let that burden go. It’s not her fault. Aviva wants Becky to know that she saved her life — so no hard feelings!  Then Aviva confronts all her demons by going right into the barn — and standing on the very spot where it all happened. Aviva can’t believe this “little mother f—er” did this to her. After letting it rip, Aviva feels great. She’s not crumbling in the face of those fears. Good for Aviva!

 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]