On this week’s episode of Chrisley Knows Best on the USA network, Julie and her youngest son Grayson were literally being two kids in a candy store, stocking up on all that sweet, sweet refined sugar behind Papa Todd’s back.
Seeing that Todd has allegedly made statements about not wanting to sell clothes larger than a size 6 in the department store he is creating, I can understand why Julie’s trip to the candy store is a covert mission. Julie instructs Grayson not to tell his father that they bought candy. Grayson says if he is caught with the candy, he will say a hippy gave it to him.
Give that hippy my phone number, because I seriously was jonesin’ for some jelly beans watching Mama & Son bagging up that delicious candy.
Julie is a breast cancer survivor. Todd tells her she needs to eat healthy to keep cancer at bay. He also instructs that they should have sex four times a week. Perhaps Todd will sell a “Have Sex, Fight Cancer” book at his department store that he wants to be “The Bergdorf’s of the South.”
Todd is going to NYC on a buying trip to stock the unopened department store. He takes Chase & Savannah – the skinniest legged teens I have ever seen – with him while Julie and Grayson stay at home in Atlanta.
The Chrisley’s are like Mini Blonde Kardashians. But unlike the Kardashians, I feel like their emotions are more from the heart and less rehearsed. But perhaps I’m just detoxing from sugar and cannot see straight.
Todd tears up talking about how he is afraid of Julie getting sick again and that he cannot be without her. Julie’s eyes well up too.
Chase, Savannah and Todd go to NYC. Todd is detailing the work obligations while Chase says he wants to eat a lot, shop and go to a Yankees game. A boy after my own heart – um except for that baseball part. Todd, in his usual Southern vernacular, says that if Chase stays stuck on stupid, he is going to get fired.
At their NYC hotel, we learn another piece of the puzzle that is Todd Chrisley. He’s a germaphobe in hotel rooms. Chase torments his father with talk of bed bugs and roaches. Todd strips the hotel bed, calls housekeeping and demands someone come up and change the sheets so he can actually witness that there are clean sheets being put on the bed.
Todd, Savannah and Chase meet with Maggie, the new Chrisley & Company buyer to look at clothes. Chase cannot take his eye off the fit model. Savannah tries to give her thoughts, but they are all filtered through a 16 year old girl’s tastes.
Back in Atlanta, Julie is taking a pole dancing class! She looks a little lost, but God love her – she’s trying. The class instructor has everyone yell out “I AM SEXY!” which really should be how everyone starts their day. Julie then gets a hands-on – as in hands on her butt – lesson on how to twerk.
Now normally I would say something crazy snarky about the camera shot zooming in on Julie’s butt as the instructor tries to twerk it back and forth. However Julie Chrisley seems like an “every woman” to me, so I just can’t bring myself to say something bitchtastic.
Instead I am going to say – good for Julie for having the chutzpah to take a pole dancing class on television. We should all be so brave! Ladies and Gentlemen, whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself and sexy – as long as it is legal and moral – do it! Life is too short!
Back in NYC, Papa Todd tells Chase that eyeing models is not going to help them build their store’s brand. The next day, Chase has his business face on. While Savannah is still rainbows and butterflies, Chase is making smart comments about colors, fabrics and what items would be most popular to a broad range of women. Papa Todd’s face is lit up with sincere pride.
Chase’s mature moment doesn’t last forever however. Papa Todd has a business meeting and instructs Chase and Savannah not to leave the hotel room. They say “yes” but everyone knows that’s not going to happen. When Papa Todd returns to the hotel, only Savannah is there. Chase has left, needing “fresh air.” Todd exclaims that “There will be hell to pay tonight! “ and goes running into the night.
Julie meanwhile is doing flaming shots and eating Mexican food with her girlfriends. Terror almost ensues when Julie thinks her Louis Vuitton may catch on fire from the flaming shots. More booze, desserts & laughter.
Chase eventually returns to the hotel but tells Papa Todd to relax and stop smothering the almost 18 year old. They have words but reach a compromise. They exchange “I love you’s” and another warm and fuzzy “Chrisley Knows Best” parenting moment is resolved.
Returning home, Julie has made a “healthy dinner” – salmon, tofu, quinoa and vegetables. Watching Todd and Grayson choke down tofu is a hysterical father-son moment. Julie says she is turning over a new leaf, but talk of her pole dancing class experience has Grayson commenting about “shaking it for dollar bills.”
Todd and Julie allow Chase to go to a movie with his friends as long as he promises to come straight home afterward.
Chase leaves with a cocky “See you in the AM, Todd.”
When SouthTampaLily grows up she wants to be a cult leader or Faye Dunaway in “Mommie Dearest.” Until she finds some maturity, she spends copious amounts of time watching reality television and training her cats for the circus. Follow her on