There is little in life I enjoy more than dissecting an episode of ‘The Real Housewives’ so imagine the thrill I had at being asked to recap our Beverly Hills ladies then the mini let down over such a high good feel/low cat fight episode.
So we begin getting candles read. I have never heard of this in my life but sounds interesting if not a bit scary. If the candles in my home can talk…YIKES! Carlton has invited Yolanda into a special place to her. A place where she finds tools to help her in her spiritual walk. Carlton explains Yo is the only one that has a receptive attitude and she can trust to share her special place. Carlton shares she usually wears a crystal in between her breasts that not only repels bad attacks on her but returns them to the sender twofold. BOOM! Can we get each housewife their own crystal and watch a Star Wars type version where all the negatives are bouncing around this group like Dexter’s yarn in a blood analysis?!?! I’m in.
Cut to Kyle visiting with Joyce. As Kyle begins talking, I see a 13 year old with the nasal voice and braces talking. I shake myself and realize it is indeed adult Kyle talking and she is beginning to relay the star tattoo incident with Carlton.
Bravo begins their creative editing so we are going back and forth as Kyle and Carlton each are telling their sides of story to their respective friends.
Kyle is claiming innocence in asking about Carlton’s tattoo and later antisemitic accusation. Carlton is tired of judgments and labeling. We are tired of entire thing. Moving on, except there is a new wrinkle. Kyle is beginning a story of her kitchen computer screensaver changing from what it has been for years to random words such as bigot, travesty and larvae. It has freaked Kyle out. I realize it takes little to freak Kyle out but this is strange. So strange, that Kyle and Joyce decide Carlton should not be invited on the upcoming trip that every other housewife is invited to attend. What irons out any problems better than excluding one person, in a group from a big trip. This is a genius plan. Brandi and Kim are chatting and Brandi shares she is intimidated by Lisa. In a talking head, she states there were rumors that Lisa had Cedric deported. I couldn’t help but notice she tweeted today that Lisa herself told a group that she had Cedric deported. Which is it, Brandi? Rumors or straight out of Lisa’s mouth. Kim and Brandi go get spray tanned in preparation for the trip to Puerto Rico.
NBA star Yolanda shows up at Mohammad’s wearing some high top sneakers. I had to press pause and revel in that imagery for a moment. We get a glimpse of the strong bonds and dynamics in Yolanda’s family. It’s all good stuff. But now we are in Bitter Brandi territory. She is sure Lisa knew that little tramp was indeed Eddie’s side piece before she claims. Brandi repeatedly explains her allergic reaction to aspirin is her saving grace because her tongue is the size of a Cadillac and she can’t talk. I didn’t really notice it slowing her down much but supposedly it kept her from going at Lisa.
Everyone is showing up for Gigi’s going away party. Everything is beautiful bar some attitudes. Carlton is giving Kyle the cold shoulder because
they are in middle school she let’s people know when she does not like them. Kyle is making jokes about Carlton conjuring up some floating chairs. Brandi has an awkward moment greeting Lisa. It is like watching a junior high soiree but Beverly Hills style. Kleenex time. Gigi stands up in remarkable fashion for a young lady and gives a touching toast to her parents and David Foster. Yolanda gives the next toast. Being at the same stage in my life, it hit a nerve. Yo mentioned not knowing how to live without her daughter’s smile every day and I went straight into the ugly girl cry. Thank goodness Bravo won’t allow positive moments last too long and we can go straight into the next shit storm.
You know it is gold, when Brandi says Lisa is so good, she realizes something is going on with her and that is scary! A friend being perceptive to realize something is off with another friend turning into being a scary thing….things can only get better. I am rubbing my hands together in anticipation. Carlton is trying to exit and Kyle is giving Brandi a piece of jewelry to pass along to Carlton. It is a matching piece to a necklace she had previously gifted Carlton. Lisa comes in mid stream and this aggravates Brandi off to no end. Lisa could blink twice and it would make Brandi’s blood pressure soar. Brandi is in that place where nothing Lisa does is good and everything is horribly evil and bad. Of course, Brandi can’t talk so she only says this to everyone else but Lisa.
Carlton refuses the gift but not without a few swipes at Kyle. Lisa is confused why it is a matching piece but tries to see it as a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, Brandi had already stomped off at that point and does not hear Lisa being only positive about the ordeal. Even with her disability, Brandi is able to rally and let Kyle know that Lisa tried to stir up trouble with Carlton. She perseveres, ya’ll! Kyle is now angry at Lisa and they have a little round. Lisa goes straight to Brandi trying to ask why she said something untrue or out of context, Brandi sticks to her story that Lisa was being snide and stirring the pot while running in the opposite direction of Lisa. The news of Joyce’s father dying makes the rounds and the ladies all respond in their way. Thankfully, Joyce is still on-board and wanting the trip to continue as planned. I loved Lisa’s talking head where she states, everyone grieves differently and this isn’t about us it is about Joyce and we should be here to support her, end of story. This is why Lisa is loved. Lisa and Kyle meet the following day to shop for the Puerto Rico trip. I love when Kyle grabs a piece and jokes it is the last one and she gets it! It did not even look remotely like something Lisa would wear much less fight over. Remember above when I said, looking at Kyle made me think of a preteen girl with braces? Listening to Kyle in this next clip made me go back to that same thought bubble above my head.
“After speaking with Brandi, I realize with Lisa even when she is being kind and saying something nice, is this genuine? I don’t want to feel like that with my friends.”
As I watch Kyle and Lisa talk, I am having severe flashbacks to last season, when Lisa was severely hurt by Kyle and she tried numerous times to talk to Kyle and Kyle refused to own the actions that hurt Lisa so badly much less apologize to Lisa. Hearing Kyle say she has to have an apology gave me an aneurysm. Kyle, do you remember sitting at the Season 2 reunion with your little smile/smirk as Adrienne viciously attacked Lisa, one of your best friends, with vile accusations like getting paid to give stories to RadarOnline? Adrienne calling Lisa a liar when Lisa denied doing such a horrific thing. Kyle chose not to defend her dear friend, Lisa. She chose to pile on with Adrienne. When Lisa approached Kyle a couple of times and tried to express her hurt feelings, she made herself the victim stating she didn’t like being put in the middle or having to defend others which was funny because she defended Faye like nobody’s business. Kyle was so put off that Lisa wanted to have serious talks about it and she was tired of it all.
Any of this ringing a bell? Now, Kyle has allowed Brandi to sit and talk negatively about Lisa to her, so much so that she’s unhappy with Lisa.
Kyle, please keep in mind your experiences with Lisa. Watch last season’s episodes.
Brandi, get a clue…please take many more aspirin until you can work up the nerve to confront Lisa face to face because this running your mouth to everyone but Lisa is not a good look. Now I am off to go talk to my candles and make sure they aren’t spilling my secrets.